Not So Realistic Fake Apple

McClellan: Has had an interesting life. Her sophomore year of high school she discovered a doorway to Narnia in the back of her parents closet. She spent several months interning as a dwarf in the Queen of Narnia's army. From there she traveled to the world of fables and fairy tales. It is there that she married a parson and ran with eggs. After returning to her hometown for a short time, she took a trip to wonderland, where she was turned into a chess piece and forced to work in the Red Queen's army. She escaped to Oz by leaping over a rainbow in the back of a beaten up and barely functioning pick-up truck. She took up refuge in the Emerald City where she earned money as a musician. Growing tired of the color green she infiltrated the Wicked Witch of the West's legion of flying monkeys. She learned the art of pretending to fly then began her journey home. Her journey was intercepted by a hoard of fairy tale characters who were angry about her running with eggs. The evil queen from Snow White turned her into a sheep. In order to avoid being a snack for a wolf she mastered the art of WWE wrestling. She now resides under the name of Crusher in The Boy Who Cried Wolf.