I have been to so many museums. I couldn't count them if I tried. It's absolutely ridiculous. When my family goes on vacations (we haven't actually gone on one for several years now) we go somewhere and travel to every museum that we could possibly find along the way. In fact, there was one trip that was solely for the fact that my mom wanted to see a specific museum.
Yesterday me, my mom, and my dad went to go see The McAllister House Museum in Colorado Springs. (I wasn't aware of this fact until were half way there. I was told we were getting a door and I was getting a phone.) The plan was to take a tour of the museum like any normal family would. This of course could not happen.
It started off when my dad asked if the tree in the back was a crab apple tree. The answer was yes. Then the old lady working there offered for my dad to take some home. My dad said yes. The old lady then told us a long, boring history of the house and the founding of Colorado Springs. I zoned out and heard a few random snippets of information. Midway through the lecture the woman who was to be our tour guide came in coughing violently loud and apologizing for interrupting. The woman finished her lecture while I fidgeted in my old, uncomfortable, and loud chair. We then departed on the tour.
Our tour guide let us in the front door of the house and began telling us about the architect and his design for the molding on the doorways. It was a notches and nobs design (apparently). There was one area where one of the nob part of the design had broke off and was painted over. My dad of course had to inspect this and inform the tour guide of this. There was also a mirror that used to belong to Lincoln (yes the president). My mom explained what the jutting out piece was for (hats and gloves apparently). We then moved into the formal parlor.
In the formal parlor, the tour guide was informing us of how it was used and blahdy blahdy blah. I wandered across the room to look at an old music box. It was cool. The tour guide informed us that they used to use it in tours, but one time it didn't stop after she started it and then the next time it didn't run at all. My dad then explained to her why that was and how to fix the problem. We then moved to the study.
By this point, I half felt like I was in a game of Clue. ("It was General Palmer in the study with a sword who determined that people needed to visit the middle of nowhere.") The guide pulled out a sword that belonged to the owner of the house and let my dad hold it. My dad then, spoke a good deal of the knowledge he has about Civil War swords. We then Moved upstairs.
Upstairs we entered the children's room. The lady explained about it and when she got to the chamber pot my dad stepped in with, "Usually they'd only use that for urine and kept number two to the outhouse. But there were times in the middle of the night where you'd have to do a Tennessee Quick Step." (This dialog is slightly abridged because I don't remember exactly, but it's pretty close. The Tennessee Quick Step part is verbatim.) After hearing about how school kids are usually horrified about chamber pots we looked at a copy of a newsletter written by one of the children. It explained in brief how the heating system in the house worked so my dad extrapolated. We then moved to the parents bedroom.
In here there was an old crib. My dad got permission to cross the velvet rope and inspect how the rocking mechanism on it worked. Crawling on the floor he inspected and explained it. Then he picked up a dead moth (which he disposed of out the kitchen door later on) and we headed downstairs to the Dining room.
Interesting enough in the dining room I actually learned something. My dad did briefly lecture on how people would paint pine molding to look like oak. What I learned: Colorado Springs back in the late 1800s and early 1900s had a high British population and was called Little London. Most of the population had British accents. This could be the reason for the use of the word "warsh" among local people of my mother's age or older. We then moved into the kitchen.
In the kitchen, we learned about... Well actually we didn't learn that much because my dad already knew it all so no one really lectured that much. However, we did discuss the equivalent of a 19th century easy bake oven. Then I noticed a little nicknack that had a sign that said, "We don't know what this is. Do you?" Since my dad was lecturing on everything else in the house I figured we'd see what he had to say on the matter. After fiddling with it for a minute or two he determined that it was a pencil sharpener. We then headed outside while my father bragged, "You didn't think I could figure it out, did you?"
Once outside my father started his collecting of crab apples (forgot about that didn't you; so did I). He started picking them up and handing them to me while the old lady working in the office came out and brought us a grocery sack to put them in. My dad then lectured her and our tour guide on how they could sell them as starts for crab apple trees and make a bunch of money because the tree wasn't a hybrid. After that lecture, he suggested that he could do an event where he showed people what it was like to be in a Civil War Cavalry. While he was discussing this option, we moved into the gift shop and my mom and I bought some books.
We did eventually convince him to leave and get the tasks that I was originally informed of done (even if we were three hours late picking up my younger sister).
Monday, July 30, 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Books
The cover of a book is very important. It is what convinces a person to look into whether or not they want to spend their time reading it.
The ADD generation doesn't want to sit there and read the inside flap about what the books about, for a couple of reasons. 1) It's long and boring. 2) They rather just read the book. 3) They don't have the attention span to read about the book, but they do have the attention span to read the book (unless it's assigned reading.) 3) They have an annoying habit of giving away too much of the plot. (I want to actually read the book, not have you tell me the story. I have enough friends that do that for me.)
Bearing all that in mind, the cover is horribly important. i.e. If the title of the book is "Man Hunt" there are a few different options of what it could be about. If Osama Bin Laden's on the cover, it's nonfiction book about finding and killing the fellow. If there's a police line, it's a mystery. If there's a heart with magnifying glass (or a cute looking couple), it's a romantic comedy. If there is an illustrated picture of a shirtless well built man, then it's a romance novel.
The cover of a book is very useful. The cliche of don't judge a book by it's cover is only partially true. The cover provides a lot of helpful information. The title, the genre, and the author. The cover's not always a good indicator of whether or not the book is good, but there are plenty of clues. Most notably would be the author. There are certain authors who have great books then there are those to avoid.
If it's by Stephanie Meyer, just walk away from the book. Whatever you do, DON'T READ IT! If you do, one of three things will happen. 1. You'll read the book, become an obsessive fan and .... off normal people all across America. 2. You'll read the book, you'll throw the book across the room, find matches, burn the book, and be the cause of the next wildfire. 3. You'll read the book, your mind will explode, you'll turn into a zombie, and you'll eat the faces of your family, causing the zombie apocalypse.
If it's by Dean Koontz, there is only one thing that will happen. You'll read one of his good books. (Only two that I know of, Odd Thomas and Life Expectancy.) You'll like that book except for one (or two useless chapters that have nothing to do with the story. You'll think, I wonder how his other books are. You'll read the sequels to the book and pretend that they don't exist because they turn the original characters into someone you hope gets killed off. You'll then give him one more chance and read another of his books. This book will either be the other good book or one of the many that totally suck. If it's the other good book, you'll prolong the inevitable. You'll avoid sequels and move on to reading some of his other stuff. You'll read one more novel that will be so horribly predictable you can't even hear the title without cringing. After that last novel, you will forever have to fight the urge to find Dean Koontz and drive over him repeatedly with trucks, cars, wagons, and donkeys. If you're a glutton for punishment you will maybe try and find another good novel. This is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack and is in fact just as painful as that cliche.
While we're not supposed to judge books on appearances (nor should we people), the information that is generously provided for you and is in no way hidden is a good indicator of how your time will be spent.
The ADD generation doesn't want to sit there and read the inside flap about what the books about, for a couple of reasons. 1) It's long and boring. 2) They rather just read the book. 3) They don't have the attention span to read about the book, but they do have the attention span to read the book (unless it's assigned reading.) 3) They have an annoying habit of giving away too much of the plot. (I want to actually read the book, not have you tell me the story. I have enough friends that do that for me.)
Bearing all that in mind, the cover is horribly important. i.e. If the title of the book is "Man Hunt" there are a few different options of what it could be about. If Osama Bin Laden's on the cover, it's nonfiction book about finding and killing the fellow. If there's a police line, it's a mystery. If there's a heart with magnifying glass (or a cute looking couple), it's a romantic comedy. If there is an illustrated picture of a shirtless well built man, then it's a romance novel.
The cover of a book is very useful. The cliche of don't judge a book by it's cover is only partially true. The cover provides a lot of helpful information. The title, the genre, and the author. The cover's not always a good indicator of whether or not the book is good, but there are plenty of clues. Most notably would be the author. There are certain authors who have great books then there are those to avoid.
If it's by Stephanie Meyer, just walk away from the book. Whatever you do, DON'T READ IT! If you do, one of three things will happen. 1. You'll read the book, become an obsessive fan and .... off normal people all across America. 2. You'll read the book, you'll throw the book across the room, find matches, burn the book, and be the cause of the next wildfire. 3. You'll read the book, your mind will explode, you'll turn into a zombie, and you'll eat the faces of your family, causing the zombie apocalypse.
If it's by Dean Koontz, there is only one thing that will happen. You'll read one of his good books. (Only two that I know of, Odd Thomas and Life Expectancy.) You'll like that book except for one (or two useless chapters that have nothing to do with the story. You'll think, I wonder how his other books are. You'll read the sequels to the book and pretend that they don't exist because they turn the original characters into someone you hope gets killed off. You'll then give him one more chance and read another of his books. This book will either be the other good book or one of the many that totally suck. If it's the other good book, you'll prolong the inevitable. You'll avoid sequels and move on to reading some of his other stuff. You'll read one more novel that will be so horribly predictable you can't even hear the title without cringing. After that last novel, you will forever have to fight the urge to find Dean Koontz and drive over him repeatedly with trucks, cars, wagons, and donkeys. If you're a glutton for punishment you will maybe try and find another good novel. This is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack and is in fact just as painful as that cliche.
While we're not supposed to judge books on appearances (nor should we people), the information that is generously provided for you and is in no way hidden is a good indicator of how your time will be spent.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Wal-Mart
I'm not a huge fan of Wal-Mart, but on occasion end up buying something there anyways. (It's the closest place to get certain things.) Wal-Mart while having a low prices tends to also be filled with some pretty jank items. Even the brand name items seem to lack in quality compared to items bought at other stores.
Any clothing I get from there falls apart pretty quickly. For Christmas one year, I received a pair of Levi jeans from Wal-Mart. After one day of running around on rocks and trees with my cousin they were obliterated. There was absolutely no ass left in them. I purchased a shirt from Wal-Mart. A month later, it got caught on the doorknob of our kitchen door (which is blunt by the way) and ripped a hole in the back of the shirt.
While jank clothing is one thing (it's really only a problem at televised half-time shows), jank food is an entirely different thing. Awhile ago, I bought a container of lemonade mix for a backpacking trip that didn't happen. We decided to use it tonight for dinner. I glanced at the label and it had this notice posted, "May contain traces of milk, eggs, tilapia, and wheat or soy." Tilapia? What the heck? That's a type of fish! Why the heck would a drink mix contain traces of fish? Seriously, what the heck? It was Wal-Mart brand and it was cheep, but, seriously, what type of processing equipment do they use?
If there wasn't enough of an incentive to boycott Wal-Mart before, there certainly is now. I will not be purchasing any more Wal-Mart brand food items. I don't care if it costs more to buy it somewhere else. I like my lemonade without fish. The fact that a food item may contain fish isn't even the issue. It's the fact that a drink item might contain traces of it. Honestly, Wal-Mart what the hell?
Any clothing I get from there falls apart pretty quickly. For Christmas one year, I received a pair of Levi jeans from Wal-Mart. After one day of running around on rocks and trees with my cousin they were obliterated. There was absolutely no ass left in them. I purchased a shirt from Wal-Mart. A month later, it got caught on the doorknob of our kitchen door (which is blunt by the way) and ripped a hole in the back of the shirt.
While jank clothing is one thing (it's really only a problem at televised half-time shows), jank food is an entirely different thing. Awhile ago, I bought a container of lemonade mix for a backpacking trip that didn't happen. We decided to use it tonight for dinner. I glanced at the label and it had this notice posted, "May contain traces of milk, eggs, tilapia, and wheat or soy." Tilapia? What the heck? That's a type of fish! Why the heck would a drink mix contain traces of fish? Seriously, what the heck? It was Wal-Mart brand and it was cheep, but, seriously, what type of processing equipment do they use?
If there wasn't enough of an incentive to boycott Wal-Mart before, there certainly is now. I will not be purchasing any more Wal-Mart brand food items. I don't care if it costs more to buy it somewhere else. I like my lemonade without fish. The fact that a food item may contain fish isn't even the issue. It's the fact that a drink item might contain traces of it. Honestly, Wal-Mart what the hell?
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