Recently, I, a twenty-one year old proud owner of a vagina, took a trip to the gynecologist which is something that a responsible twenty-one year old vagina owner is supposed to do. It started off fine the nurse was incredibly kind and respectful, giving me all the answers I needed and requested. All was well.
All was well. Then
the Doctor showed up and I immediately contemplated fleeing that exam room
wearing nothing but the flimsy paper vest. The first thing that she
said to me upon entering was a comment about how my height to weight ratio,
BMI, was in the overweight area so I needed to make sure I lost those extra
pounds. The literal first thing. No lead in nothing. Just, "Hi, I'm your
doctor. You're fat." She had a double chin for tit's sake. Something I
wouldn't even take as an indication of her being fat because the skin on the
bottom of your face has to go somewhere when you're constantly looking down on
people.
After that she asked
about my reasoning for coming in. Queue the following exchange.
Condescending Doctor: So why are you coming in now?
Me: I figured it was about time.
Condescending Doctor: Well, we suggest 21 or sexually active.
Me: That's why I'm here.
She was literally
looking at my chart while this exchange happened. My chart that said I was 21
years of age and a virgin. Did she think I just wandered in off the street
like, "You know what I'm gonna have a random stranger look at my junk for
no reason." (Why would I be in a gynecologists office if I didn't know that I needed to be there?)
When she finished and I had my clothes back on, She mentioned that when
it came time for me to be sexually active I needed to see her about birth
control. To which I replied about that not being much of an issue due to my
overwhelming gayness. It's amazing how much a statement like that can boost the
uncomfortableness level in a room. She froze before wincing out a, "Well,
you never can tell."
After that I asked
about the HPV vaccine because it's something that is probably not a bad idea
seeing that amongst
queer woman it's a
fairly common STI (mostly because sex education doesn't teach anything about
safe sex between two women). She shut me down pretty quickly. She started off
with saying it's not without risks and instead of clarifying any of these risks
she gave me a pamphlet. Then she dove into a lecture about while I may never
sleep with anyone that's not a woman I could sleep with a woman that has slept
with someone that's not a woman and blah blah blah. I responded with "I'm
aware." (That's why I asked for health's sake.)
(This pamphlet, by
the way, contained nothing more than an explanation of what HPV is, how it's
spread, and several grotesque pictures of what happens to your junk when you
get it. It had a sentence of possible side effects for the vaccine which are
consistent with possible side effects for pretty much any vaccine.)
I could spend my
days staring at vaginas. I could even go to medical school so I could get paid
for being an authority on staring at vaginas. But never would I be that
condescending and rude to a healthy polite person attached to the vagina I was staring at. I
left that exam room and was so visibly pissed that my sister sitting in the waiting room, immediately asked about
it.
I may have baby
face. I may dress unconventionally. I may be a virgin. I may being gayer than
my Netflix viewing history. But regardless of all that, I am an adult that went
to a medical professional to make sure I was healthy. I didn't go to
attend a condescending lecture while nude. (That's what
nightmares are for.) I deserve as much respect as the heterosexual, happily
married, conventional looking, suburban house wife that comes in after me. So to all the gynecologists out that that understand how not to be condescending ass hat I salute you and will be actively seeking you out come time for my next visit to a gyno.
