A Trip to The Gyno

Recently, I, a twenty-one year old proud owner of a vagina, took a trip to the gynecologist which is something that a responsible twenty-one year old vagina owner is supposed to do. It started off fine the nurse was incredibly kind and respectful, giving me all the answers I needed and requested. All was well.

All was well. Then the Doctor showed up and I immediately contemplated fleeing that exam room wearing nothing but the flimsy paper vest. The first thing that she said to me upon entering was a comment about how my height to weight ratio, BMI, was in the overweight area so I needed to make sure I lost those extra pounds. The literal first thing. No lead in nothing. Just, "Hi, I'm your doctor. You're fat." She had a double chin for tit's sake. Something I wouldn't even take as an indication of her being fat because the skin on the bottom of your face has to go somewhere when you're constantly looking down on people.

After that she asked about my reasoning for coming in. Queue the following exchange.

Condescending Doctor: So why are you coming in now?
Me: I figured it was about time.
Condescending Doctor: Well, we suggest 21 or sexually active.
Me: That's why I'm here.

She was literally looking at my chart while this exchange happened. My chart that said I was 21 years of age and a virgin. Did she think I just wandered in off the street like, "You know what I'm gonna have a random stranger look at my junk for no reason." (Why would I be in a gynecologists office if I didn't know that I needed to be there?)

When she finished and I had my clothes back on, She mentioned that when it came time for me to be sexually active I needed to see her about birth control. To which I replied about that not being much of an issue due to my overwhelming gayness. It's amazing how much a statement like that can boost the uncomfortableness level in a room. She froze before wincing out a, "Well, you never can tell."

After that I asked about the HPV vaccine because it's something that is probably not a bad idea seeing that amongst  queer woman it's a fairly common STI (mostly because sex education doesn't teach anything about safe sex between two women). She shut me down pretty quickly. She started off with saying it's not without risks and instead of clarifying any of these risks she gave me a pamphlet. Then she dove into a lecture about while I may never sleep with anyone that's not a woman I could sleep with a woman that has slept with someone that's not a woman and blah blah blah. I responded with "I'm aware." (That's why I asked for health's sake.)

(This pamphlet, by the way, contained nothing more than an explanation of what HPV is, how it's spread, and several grotesque pictures of what happens to your junk when you get it. It had a sentence of possible side effects for the vaccine which are consistent with possible side effects for pretty much any vaccine.)

I could spend my days staring at vaginas. I could even go to medical school so I could get paid for being an authority on staring at vaginas. But never would I be that condescending and rude to a healthy polite person attached to the vagina I was staring at. I left that exam room and was so visibly pissed that my sister sitting in the waiting room, immediately asked about it.

I may have baby face. I may dress unconventionally. I may be a virgin. I may being gayer than my Netflix viewing history. But regardless of all that, I am an adult that went to a medical professional to make sure I was healthy. I didn't go to attend a condescending lecture while nude. (That's what nightmares are for.) I deserve as much respect as the heterosexual, happily married, conventional looking, suburban house wife that comes in after me. So to all the gynecologists out that that understand how not to be condescending ass hat I salute you and will be actively seeking you out come time for my next visit to a gyno.