Transportation

So in the past year that I've lived on my own, my transportation has evolved quite a lot.

One year ago, when I started out, I had a scooter. Most people upon hearing that say something along the lines of, "Oh cool. Is it just a little electric one?" No I had a foot powered scooter. I seriously just hopped on it and just ride down hill to school. It was pretty awesome and when I feel like I haven't put in enough effort getting from place to place I even still ride it.

After awhile my parents bought me a bicycle at a garage sale. It was a pretty decent bicycle. The problem was that I am short and it was built for a person who wasn't. I rode it a couple times before I decided being alive and uninjured was nice and continued on with the scooter.

When the second semester of college began my parents had boughten another bicycle off of some friends. This one was slightly too small, but with creative adjustments I had a fully functioning bicycle I could ride to go do things. I finally had timely transportation.

It was such a nice bike and hadthe added benefit if being pink so very few people weren't surprised when they learned it was mine. (I also have a pink phone which somehow happens to boggle everyone's mind.) This bike met a very sad demise though when I was coming home from work at 3:00am.

Some dill hole ran into the front tire with his car. I was crossing on the crosswalk. I wasn't even riding and I was doing so with the light, but this jackass decided that turning left was more important than my being alive and while he turned left plowed into my front tire obliterating my bike. The bastard didn't even slow down. Just kept going. And for added effect he was on the wrong side of the rode as well.

So for at least a month I had two bicycles sitting in my apartment neither of which was ridable for me. Then a couple weeks ago I got a brand new bicycle that is just my size and works wonderfully so I had three bicycles filling up my living room.

Since I first got the bicycle that was too big, I had been trying to sell it or even give it to someone. People would mention that they needed a bike and I'd say, "well, I have an extra one if you'd like it." Then they just shrug it off as if they realize that if someone gives them a bicycle they have no excuse to be out of shape.

That is until last night. I was taking the nonfunctioning bicycle down to the dumpster when a lady who had just moved in asked if I was getting rid of it and said she'd take it. This allowed me to offer her the one that was too big and she took it! Hallelujah!

It only took me ten months to get rid of the blasted thing. (It's like the worlds most unwanted bicycle.) I now have so much free space in my living room, I don't even know what to do with it.

No Plans

I, unlike most people, don't hate Mondays. This may be attributed more to the fact that Monday acts as a Saturday in terms of the rest of the world. This means that my standard plans usually consist of sleeping in until 4:00pm. (I know you're starting with the judging and I will have you know that I work until 2:00am, so bite me!) Then I nuke corndogs and pretend that watching The Middleman counts as being productive.

The past two Mondays have been quite different from my usually ones. In other words I actually went places. (Initiate gasp spasm here.)

(Insert exhale exhale exhale here.)

Last weekend (Monday for you people with normal schedules) consisted of a lot of insanity only made more absurd by a lack of sleep. The plan was for me to go to work and when I got home my younger sister and her boyfriend would be at my place where they were going to stay the night before we caught the first busses to Fort Collins to visit our older sister. This worked about as well as capturing a squirrel with a tin can while you're on crutches because you lost a leg.

My dad decided that since he was going up to Wyoming anyways he was just going to drive my sister and her boyfriend up to Fort Collins. My dad, being a master of passive aggression, decided that he was not going to pick me up on the way because "he didn't have room in the car." It was "not" because he has been pissed at me for the past three months about a blog post I wrote about the insanity of my sister's graduation in which he comes out as far less of a gentleman than he would have the world think of his "cowboy" ass. (I'd link you to it, but I took it down to end the email lectures argument I was having with my mother.) I was trying to think of a way in which his excuse may have actually been viable and for a little while was on the "well if he's driving the truck he wouldn't" page for about an hour and wasn't as pissed. Then I realized that even in the truck he'd have room and pissed off resumed. I don't care how pissed at a person I was, if they needed a ride somewhere I was already going so that they could hang out with their sisters before one moved to Texas, I'd give them a damn ride. Especially if I'm related to them. Maybe I'm a little preachy because I've never been in that situation, but if I did blow them off I could at least think up a solid excuse.

So my Friday (Sunday in normal world relation) was a shit day. It was in fact The Never Ending Day From Hell.

I worked all day as tech support (which is actually my job even though I sort of made it sound like it was a one time thing). It is normally not such a terrible thing, but when you are already having a shit day dealing with entitled assholes that think 28¢ a day entitles them to every movie ever made on a golden platter that is guarenteed to make the movie play perfectly without issue and that there is a magic fix all button because all they know about technology is what they've seen in 80's movies and Hackers (which is actually a fun movie despite it's inaccuracy), can make you want to pull a supervillain and destroy the world with that doomsday device I've totally been building because I'm a Bond villain.

Anyways, it was getting close to 2:00am and my day was finally almost over when I got a chat from a bored no life psych major who somehow thought that online tech support was the place to collect smart ass puns and use your psychological expertise. I was thus on a chat for an hour past when I was supposed to leave because Americans seriously need lives! So at 3:00 am I finally got to get off the computer and by 3:15am I begun my five mile trek home.

At 5:00am, after stopping for salty and surprisingly healthy snack food, I actually got home and had fifteen minutes to lay down and pretend I could actually stay in bed before I had to pack up my shit and catch the bus to downtown Denver. Where I then caught the bus to Longmont. I actually got about half an hour of sleep on this bus which worked quite nicely in getting rid of my urge to blow up the earth.

By the time I caught the bus to Fort Collins my reserve tank kicked in and I was somehow able to have a conversation with some vagabonds that had a kitty and not seem crazy. This was likely due more to the fact I was talking to vagabonds than that I actually seemed like a normal person. Then when I got to FoCo, I got to catch another, bus to meet my sister. Three hours from catching my first bus I was able to crash land on my sister's couch and not sleep because I get excited when I see people I like.

A steaming cup of coffee and an episode or two of Orange is The New Black later, my Dad arrived with the human cargo he's had a conversations longer than "Hey Dad! Happy Forth!" "Do you want to talk to your mother?" in the past three months. This led to an awkward lunch in which my dad said nothing to me before he quickly needed to leave and we shared a half hearted murmur filled obligatory hug.

After Pops left, we hung out which I don't really remember much about because my brain was sleeping even while I was fully awake. Then towards the end of the day we watched Jericho (which could not capture my sleep deprived brain's attention for shit), ate pasta and went to a carnival.

The carnival was just like any other one a person would go to. Obligatory mocking of the fully capable people that refuse to go on rides. Mocking the faces of people who do go on the rides. A ferris wheel. And of course eating vendor food which in this case was the Holy Grail of corndogs. (Maybe because I was sleep deprived and hungry, but my younger sister's boyfriend agreed so I think it was.) Then after I ate the corndog, my body started crashing so I took a bajillion photos to avoid falling asleep next to that spinny swing ride and being trampled by masses of carnival goers rushing to vomit.

I sleapt in the car back to my sister's place and managed to stay up for a couple more hours with both my sister's boyfriends and the pumpkin of my younger sister asleep on the couch. So, thirty-six hours from my waking up at 1:00pm on Sunday and running on a couple of small naps I finally passed out on my sister's sofa. 

So Sunday (Tuesday in relative terms), I woke up at what I claim as too early to fiddle music (not kidding) and me and my siblings with the younger one's boyfriend in tow went to get matching tattoos of the three stars from th Harry Potter books (something I didn't actually notice existed until my sisters mentioned getting tattoos of them). We then walked to get frozen yogurt while I debated Star Wars with the boyfriend. Then after buying henna in a pungently sweet Indian shop and purchasing Peace Tea we went back to my sister's and played Supernatural Risk (which is just  Risk, but no one dies just switches sides, so taking over the world is fucking difficult). Then after going to a nerd shop ("Hobby Shop" for the people too pompous to admit their nerdom), played D&D while drinking until 2:00am. Which as it turns out was plenty of time for me to be raped by a lizard woman until I was on the verge of death from aids. (Yeah D&D is weird with my friends.)

Then I woke up again too damn early and started the three hour bus ride with my younger sister and her boyfriend who stayed at my flat for the next two days and saw very little of me because I work nights.

So yeah that was last weekend. This weekend has been quite different despite being still on the quite crazy side.

Yesterday I got up early (and by early I mean 11:00am) to eat tomato free cheese pizza and discuss nerdy things with a friend from high school I hadn't seen in awhile on her way up Fort Collins. Then after she departed I went back into my apartment for a little while with the plans of watching The Middleman (seriously check this show out). This of course didn't work due to the fact that there was a black out in my area that left the windowless hallways of my building feeling like a level of Silent Hill. So I rode the bus downtown to check out the show my friend who is touring Colorado was playing in the basement of a coffee shop. I then hung out with this friend and his friend for the rest of the day whichever basically consisted of dark humor jokes involving dead hookers, while I navigated the drive in their man-stanky car to Westminster where me and the friend I went to go see play at the coffee shop cooked a pasta stir-fry (something we invented after I berated him for thinking canned ravioli counted was food) while his friend serenaded us on his guitar. We then drove back to downtown Denver where they played in a coffee shop bar combo where the audience fluctuated in its ability to give a crap. At this place my friend was told by J Megatron that his shit was dope but he needed to own it and recieved a free lecture on the magic of Tupac. We then went back to my place where my friend crashed and I hung out with his friend until 2:00am.

They woke up at 7:00am and I woke up with them, made them frozen waffles, then passed back out until 4:00pm. Then proceeded with my normal weekend plans of microwave food and watching The Middleman. (I do watch other shows this is just what I've been watching lately.) That's when I got a text that they forgot stuff. Stuff that I then noticed was laying in the middle of my floor and the two traveling musicians returned.

After a trip to the grocery store, in which I discovered men can't find things you send them to find, laughed a bit too hard at Naked! (yes the juice) related puns, and was told laughing in the produce section isn't allowed because produce is serious buisiness, we returned to my flat where my friend passed out on my sofa, I made fried cheese tortilla things (I'd say the actually name, but for some reason I can't remember how it's spelled), and my friend's friend did my dishes. I then chilled and watched The Middleman (is this reference number four?) for a couple hours before he went to bed. So yes as of right now I have two traveling musicians who haven't showered in a few days passed out on my sofa.

I do really enjoy having no plans because it leads to far more adventures and interesting things then having them. When you have a plan for the day you never get to experience the deliciousness of pasta stir-fry, the suffocating stench of being crammed in a man-stank filled car, or understand how serious the business of produce is.