Yes, I Am A Woman

There is one thing I find really absurd. Well, actually, I find lots of things absurd, but this is one of the things I feel like ranting about at the moment. It's hilarious when people get surprised that I like something. No one bats an eyelash when I tell them that I love Star Wars, Spiderman, and Xena (although, someone which hasn't seen the show once told me it was appalling that I liked it), but as soon as I wear heels, have a pink phone, or get caught watching a Disney movie marathon, the what bet did you lose jokes start.

It makes sense that no one is surprised at my standard guy nerd interests because to be fair I am likely wearing a T-shirt that states the fact. But what I don't get is why people are so surprised when I like "chick" things. Contrary to popular belief I am a woman. (Please hold off all gasp spasms until the end.)

I like fashion to some extent. (Hold it.) I'm not talking the runway bologna, but actual clothes that people wear. The way style changes over time just fascinates me as well as why a person chooses the clothes they do. Believe it or not I can actually help you pick out a nice outfit (if need be just hold your breath). I just don't want one for myself. I'll be the comfortable one over here thanks. Nothing compares to the wide-eyed looks of "did that just happen?" when I comment on how much I love that one character's dress. The shiney black dress in Shock Treatment made me all giddy. (Seriously, you're going to pass out of hyperventilation if you don't wait.)

I say I love the show Pretty Little Liars and some people's heads just up and explode. When I tell them I love the outfits the characters are wearing I have lost them entirely. They end up like the on ship computer when Arthur Dent tried to explain tea to it. It may have been easier to explain rocket science in a few of these cases.

When I say I love Disney movies it somehow manages to be the most baffling thing in the world to people despite it being something everyone loves. (If you say you don't love at least one you are a liar!) My theory is that this stems from my hatred of being called a princess that arrose from a very unique form of child rearing in which you drown your child in a subject until they hate it. In this case it would be called Princess Smoothing. I do love fairy tales, but hell will have to freeze over, explode like a Michael Bay movie, and then reassemble like a Dragonball Z villain before I will ever want to be a princess. (Though, if someone wanting to give me Amazon princesshood or a chakrum...)

Moving on, I am a big fan of the novel Pride and Prejudice. The fact people are surprised by this has to be one of the most baffling things to me. It's a famous example of early feminism. Come on people. That ass is not supposed to be a hat. I actually know very few people who have read the book (no the version with zombies doesn't count). But I say I like it and I get that same look as if I just declared I was a one eyed purple unicorn named Frank. The movie Lost in Austen (which is a must see for all fans of Pride and Prejudice) is one of my favorite things ever because it runs amuck with the story in the most hilariously respectful way. When I mentioned this fact to my older sister, the thing she said is, "it's funny how you'll get into such girly movies."

I know this may be hard for the world to understand, but I am a woman. (Alright, go ahead and gasp spasm already. You're turning purple anyways.) Can you people not see that I have boobs? I know the comfy clothing may abstruct your view a bit, but they are there I promise. I can like princesses without wanting to be one. I can read "girly" novels (except Twilight! Shoot me if I ever read Twilight!) I can even like dresses and still not want to wear one ever. (Sorry mom it's not happening.)

I find people's reactions so ridiculous when they find these things out. It's like I just told them Santa Claus isn't real and they didn't get the build up as a small child where they already sorta had it figured out. To be honest I could probably say the one eyed purple unicorn thing and get less weird looks than I do when I say, "damn, I love that dress!" (My actual statement upon seeing the black dress in Shock Treatment.)