Oh Cristmas Tree

Most people do the whole Christmas tree and decorations thing. My family is no different we just do so in the manner of all things Robinson. That is in the most round about manner possible.

On Sunday my family wanted to go chop down a tree. This usually involves arguing for a few hours about getting ready, bundling up, hiking into the backwoods (on our land so it is legal), then picking a tree we like. After we find the tree we like, we travel all over the backwoods in hopes that there's a better tree. We then trek back to the original tree we liked. We hand off my Dad's axe, usually between me and my siblings (occasionally cousins or friends who got suckered into accompanying us). We then drag the tree back to the car (usually done by me and my siblings) and take it back to the house.

Once the tree is back to the house, my dad saws off a bunch of the branches at the bottom and part of the trunk because the tree is too tall. (This year was the only year in history the tree was not too tall.) We then put it in the stand and spend twenty or so minutes telling each other that the tree is crooked.

If we're lucky enough to agree that the tree is straight we then argue about where to put said tree. Should it go  in the corner by the plants? (Trick question there are plants in every corner.) Should it go by the window? Should we remove the coffee table and stick it there? Should we put it by the corner cabinet? Should we stuff in the space between the side table, couch, and china cabinet? (God, there's a lot of furniture in that living room.) Eventually we decide to just shove it in the corner between the couch, side table, and china cabinet. The one corner in the entire room that makes decorating the tree an acrobatic sport.

Once the tree has been properly placed, we discover that it's crooked and spend another ten minutes telling each other this. Then three days later we actually straighten it out.

After we've informed everyone that the tree is crooked, we argue for about an hour on who's going to bring up the giant box of Christmas decorations. This argument involves lots of just a minutes, hold ons, and hurry ups. Eventually I end up caring it up with either the help of my mom or the help of my younger sister. Usually after my dad yells at me to hurry up, then lays down to nap in the middle of the living room floor making the task more difficult.

We then usually end up turning on A Charlie Brown Christmas while we do the decorating. It's usually my mom and younger sister who actually bother to unearth the ornaments. My sister(s) in an attempt to make the tree look "beautiful" usually chastise my ornament placement and selection so I flee to the sofa, where I watch the cartoon, what's going on around me, and generally just be in the way for when they need to stand on something. My dad's usually not in the room and asleep somewhere, or laying in the living room floor and sleeping. My grandma sits in her rocking chair and informs us of how nice the tree is looking. Then, the peanut gallery of whatever relatives happen to be visiting cram into the living room and ask where we got each and every ornament. Eventually however the tree is decorated with minimal yelling. Then we have to clean up all the ornament boxes, paper clips, ornaments not used, tinsle,  and whatever else escaped our giant red Christmas box.

We've finally picked up the stuff then the argument as to who's taking the box down ensues. It's the same argument as before and eventually me and my younger sister end up hauling it down.

Once the tree is up there are a couple scenarios.

1. My dad may or may not set up the train around it. (It depends on whether or not he's fixed it from the previous year.)

2. The dog(s) will claim it as their new sleeping area.

3. We'll finally stick some presents under there, once we actually go and buy them at the last minute. Or we'll just inform each other how we got each other something, but it hasn't come in the mail yet.

4. The cat will either try to climb the tree or, on one occasion, the table runner on top of the china cabinet that the nativity set was stationed on.

5. We'll get around to sticking candy canes on the tree, usually after Christmas when my mom or grandma remembers that they bought some.
Then the candy canes will all be eaten by two or three of the same people leaving everyone else to complain how they didn't get any.
When we finally take down the tree (usually mid February) we discover that there are actually a bunch of them on the back side. Then the same two or three people will eat those.

Everyone's got their family traditions. In my family the traditions that are consistent from year to year are usually the ones making people yell, pout, or in general just be grumpy. Though, we do do a spectacular job of spreading that Christmas cheer to people we're not related to.