Brittany S. Pierce Is A Genius

Since I am one of those mythical creatures known as a giant geeky dorky nerd, I have recently fallen in love with the show Glee. It's an awesome show and most people who say otherwise haven't actually seen it. Anyways, one of the characters in the show is a blonde cheerleader who is so stupid her GPA might just be negative. (Something that is somehow actually possible. Seriously I've seen it.) I however think that Brittany S. Pierce is a genius.

1. She doesn't over think anything.

How many times have you been trying to figure out what to do and your mind won't stop talking? You think so much about everything you get nothing, but a headache and usually the wrong solution. I do it all the damn time and never get anywhere.

Brittany doesn't over think it. She just goes with what she feels is right and things work out brilliantly for her. Her life is so much less complicated than mine simply because she just goes with it. There's no second guessing, over thinking, or loathing (of self or others). She does know what's going on she just doesn't rip it into tiny little pieces like the rest of us do.

2. Her ridiculous answers do have a basis in logic.

When she answers a question, the answers are so unbelievably wrong the audience can't help but laugh and face palm. However her answers do make sense (at least to my slightly cracked mind).

In one episode Mr. Shuster asks, "Who can tell us what an anthem is?" She replies, "The bottom of an ants pants." I find that a genius answer. If you split "anthem" into two words you get, "ant hem" which would be the bottom of an ants pants. (I spent all of high school making puns. No way I could miss this one.)

Another example. A teacher asks, "What's the capital of Ohio?" Brittany replies, "O." And she is correct O is the capital of Ohio. She thinks differently than most people and that is awesome! I kind of wish my brain worked like that.

One more just because. Mr. Shuster says, "What's a duet?" Brittany says, "A blanket." Duet sounds pretty similar to "duvet." I can see someone making that mistake. People mix up words and their meanings all the time. I know I do. Something sounds similar and our brain waves cross and we get a wrong answer that made sense before it left our mouth.

You'll also note that Brittany answers really quickly without hesitation. She just says the first thing that pops into her head. With all the useless junk I have in my head, I would sound like such a dumbass if I did that. Chances are you would too.

3. She's slow, but not stupid.

Brittany usually takes a moment to catch up. She processes the information a bit slower than anyone else, but she does catch up and she does know what's going on.

Example:
Mr. Shuster: Take it away, Brittany.
Brittany: Take what away?

4. She gets people better than anybody I know.

Seriously she is a genius when it comes to people. She knows exactly what they are and loves them for it regardless. She's nonjudgemental no matter what.

Since she's not over thinking everything, like us people who think we're oh so smart, she always knows what people need to hear. She knows Kurt is awesome and should celebrate it as much as possible. She knows Santana shouldn't hide who she is because who she is is awesome and so on. She gets people and doesn't care.

5. She's braver than most people.

Throughout the series she is never afraid to say what's on her mind, do what she thinks is right, or do what makes her happy. She seriously is the poster child for guts.

She offers to go first when coming out with Santana. (Which is seriously one of the scariest damn things.) She tells people what she feels all the time and is always willing to show that she doesn't get it. There's none of that prestigious pretend laughter when you don't get something that all us smart people do to avoid looking dumb.

Say what you want, but Brittany gets it. She really does. She sees the world completely differently from everyone around her and that makes for some damn entertaining statements, but Brittany, my friends, is a genius. If the Glee characters weren't fictitious, Brittany would be the one of them that would be happy for the rest of her life no matter what.

Velociraptors

When I first was allowed to watch Jurassic Park all the way through, (not just the scene where the baby velociraptor is born) I was like six. So at the perfect age to start enjoying it when people got ripped apart on film, velociraptors became my favorite. Let's face it velociraptors are kind of the most bad ass of all the dinosaurs.

In Jurassic Park, the velociraptors are large, intelligent, hungry lizards. Now everytime I look at an updated image of a velociraptor, the damn thing gets more feathers. It started with a tuft or two on the top of their heads in Jurassic Park III and has progressed ever since. Last I checked, it was looking like a very angry cross between a turkey and a parrot. The velociraptor is like a drag queen slowly getting more comfortable with it's sexuality and love of the performing arts.

While the velociraptor still remains totally awesome for it's ripping apart ability, I have a feeling the next time I see a picture of one it's going to look like an Angry Bird. Just a round ball of poofy brightly colored feathers. A very violent, six foot long ball of poofy feathers, but a ball of poofy feathers none the less.

The Cell Phone Conundrum

There used to be a time when horror movies just had to take place in the middle of nowhere and the audience had nothing to say about their inability to call for help. Now that everyone has a cell phone, there is almost a requirement for someone to pull one out at some point and either break it, lose it, or make the obligatory, "crap no service!" If it's not said somewhere in the film that the cell phone is useless or even that they just forgot it that day, the audience is going to leave saying the people are stupid for not calling 911 or even sending a text of, "SOS evil killer after me. At abandoned mansion. Hurry." Rather than the more standard complaints of "they shouldn't have split up" or "maybe they shouldn't have gone into the abandoned cabin." And as a film maker you can't have that.

In older horror movies, it's a pretty simple case of establishing no hope. Now it has to be established that there's no way out, no phone, no cell phone, and no wi-fi. The only thing dying more than the people is the damn cell phones. Horror movies are now homages to crappy cell service. Otherwise the audience would be face palming way more than the obligatory horror movie amount.

The fact that everyone has a cell phone does limit the amount of miscommunication related situations available in films. The fact that I have a computer in my pocket more advanced than the first space shuttle, kind of puts a damper on conflict.

In high school, I didn't have a cell phone and neither did my parents. There were all sorts of ridiculous misunderstandings, getting mixed up, and getting forgotten going on. Had my parents just had one indestructible Nokia, doing things would have been far easier. (To be fair we did have one shared family cell phone.) It's a lot harder to be forgotten when you can call someone and ask, "hey where the heck are you?" This state of constant communication really makes it harder to find conflict. (Maybe that's why there are so many stupid arguments online.)

Seriously just think of a show and add cell phones. Changes things doesn't it? Can you just imagine how much easier it would be? Hell there's a damn good chance there'd be a lower death rate, less miscommunication, and who knows what else. Really puts a damper on screenwriter laziness, doesn't it?

ParaNorman

I fell in love with the movie, ParaNorman the moment I saw it. It was a fantastic film. Creative, funny, and overall just plain great.

Since someone will complain if I don't say so SPOILER ALERT!

There was an endless stream of complaints about the fact that at the end of the movie it's revealed that the Jock character as gay.

As expected there were complaints from your normal everyday homophobes. That's just to be expected. As noted by the theory that "sex" is secretly written all over Disney movies, if a character were to sneeze and it could possibly be speculated into them saying something inappropriate, someone would complain.

What you wouldn't expect however is the people who called the screenwriters homophobic for the way they wrote it. In one article I read, the author said that they should have showed the characters' progression with the realization and that "the filmmakers felt having an openly-gay character would undermine the enjoyment of the film." They then called the filmmakers the homophobes.

I take issue with that. Personally I thought it was done brilliantly and I do believe it was shown quite well throughout the course of the film. At the very least, I saw it coming. (To be fair i see everything coming.) Throughout the entire film I kept thinking, "that guy is totally gay." I didn't actually expect it to be blatently stated on screen. That was the surprising part for me and I wanted to stand up and cheer. (Which I could've since my friend and I were the only ones in the theater). Let's face it, not even the meat-headiest of straight men could be that oblivious to a woman hitting on them as obviously as she was. Believe me, I know, I've been friends with some of them.

As for it not being mentioned sooner, why would it be? At what point in that situation would an openly gay person just blurt that out. Sorry to tell you, but gay people don't spend every waking moment thinking about the fact that they're gay. Just like straight people don't think about the fact that they're straight and women don't just think about tthe fact they have boobs. When was the last time you heard a straight person just bring up their sexuality for no reason? It would have made no sense for someone who is comfortable being gay and already out to bring it up at random points in time especially a point in time when they are a bit more preoccupied with zombies.

The way they revealed it at the end was brilliant as well. It was very nonchalant. In real life, you either find out someone's gay by your impeccable gaydar, they tell you because you asked them out or it just  came up in conversation, or they casually mention their boyfriend/girlfriend just like you'd mentioned yours.

To be honest, the fact that it's straight up said in a movie with a rating under PG-13 is alone amazing. For once, the multitudes of fans don't have to write countless fan fictions and subpar arguments for it to be true. We should just be glad that a children's movie has an openly gay character in it, rather than complaining about it.

I won't blame you if you didn't see it coming, but I will blame you for expecting it to be a big deal within the context of the film. Why does every movie with a gay character have to focus on that fact?