Tetherball

Tetherball is an incredibly dramatic sport. Requiring almost ninja reflexes and skill. At least that is what I discovered after I lost my epic Kung-Fu battle with one.

It started simple enough with an afternoon walk to the park. After the basic tomfoolery of jumping off swings and climbing things, we discovered the tether-ball. Standing there majestically calling our names to come and play with it.

The tetherball was up to no good however. It coaxed us in with the promise of a fun children's game, but left us (and by us I mean me) with only pain.  Round one was my younger sister and her boyfriend. It was a one sided battle where my sister spend the entire time cringing and ducking as though the inanimate ball on a string was going to eat her. If I had only headed that as a warning

An actually less terrified expression than what befell my sister's face.

I of course being an older sibling had to mock my younger sister for her terror. It was a ball on a string what possible horrors could it be hiding?

Then it was my turn to battle my sister's boyfriend in this game. The first round was well, sad to say the least. He served and the ball wrapped itself around the top of the pole where me and my shortness could not reach. Leaving me to leap upwards in an attempt that didn't even let me tap it with my finger tips.

After such a  fail that it can only be described as steering the Titanic, it was round two and my turn to serve. So that is exactly what I did. It went well and wrapped around the pole a couple times. There was even some decent volley. Then WAMP! It came careening back at me with vengeance and what I can only assume was it's evil plan all along. Where was I hit you ask?

Was it the face?

 

Was it the nads?

Just kidding. I don't have nads

Or was it just a sudden increase in gravity that caused me to land on top of the ball?

Actual Google image result for getting hit by a ball.

I'll give you as much time as it takes to read this sentence to confer with you team. (Were we actually playing with teams?)

The answer is the Solar Plexus! Ding ding ding! Do we have a winner? (Seriously do we?)

So that is how I lost my Kung Fu fight with a tetherball. Napoleon Dynamite, I salute you for surviving such an ordeal without mass amounts of pain.

I have come to the conclusion that tetherball is the boss battle of the playground and there is a very good reason that no one ever ever played it. Few are prepared for such an ordeal.