Technology in My House

For some reason, I am the only person in my house that can get technology to work for them no matter what. Everyone else has an incredible amount of issues.

MY COMPUTER
My younger sister, Liz, whenever she touches my computer it absolutely refuses to work properly. In fact this morning it even froze when she just walked in the room. My mom also has this obnoxious ability. It's for this reason that my family always complains about how slow my computer is. The thing is it runs perfectly fine when I use it. My friend, Spyke, built it for me my sophomore year. I absolutely love this computer. There are only a couple issues that I have with it.
1. It has to warm up a bit when you first turn it on.
2. On occasion it will play random eighties music from no discernible source.
3. Once instead of eighties music it decided to play the sound from a 1960's documentary called "The Homosexuals"
Those are the only three issues I have with my computer. I don't really mind them, but the last two are relatively disturbing at times. I'm pretty sure Spyke had some sort of subliminal messaging in mind when he built it.

THE DVD PLAYER
For years the only DVD player we had was a piece of crap that one of our aunts gave us for Christmas. This thing worked fine until my sister broke the remote. From then on we cold only do stuff with the buttons on the player itself. Now that wasn't even much of a problem until it decided that it was going to start rejecting random DVDs for no apparent reason. Almost anytime you put a disk in the machine it said, "no disk." You'd have to stick it in several times in order to get it to play. For some reason I was one of the few people that could get it to work. Whether it's because I'm incredibly stubborn would try dozens of times before giving up or that the thing just liked me for some reason, I don't know. We recently got a new DVD player that runs awesomely or well it did until Liz used it. Upon the first time my sister used it, the thing lost it's ability to fast forward or rewind. It can no longer be done.


THE SATELLITE RECEIVER
We get Dish Network satellite and it's one of the few things that remains functional in our house. The only problem is that Liz broke off the power button. If we don't have to remote (which by the way we've replaced more time than we can count) we can't turn on or off the satellite receiver. Also, whenever any time there is  movement nest to it the signal to go fuzzy.

THE TV
Last week we got a new TV and there has yet to be any issues with it. The one before this one was a tube TV. This one was just getting old so the picture was going due to no fault of my family, but there were other problems created by my family. Like the satellite receiver my sister broke the power button off so we had to use the remote. I'm waiting in fear of what my family will do to the new TV.


THE CAR
This next one was just brutal. Not even something that is just a random happenstance. This would be my dad's disregard for anything he doesn't know how to use. In the Subaru Outback we had before I rolled it (see The Perfect Ending), We had some really nice speakers. It had one really nice sound system that my dad methodically murdered. Whenever he drove down our dusty dirt road on a warm day he'd roll the window down filling the car, it's CD slot and speakers with dust. That was the first step. The second step was reenacting. For all of his civil war reenacting adventures he'd have to transport tent poles and what not. He couldn't tie them on top of the car because that was reserved for his period accurate flag pole. Instead he shoved them down between the seats and the door and impaled the speakers. It wasn't even just once he did it multiple times. Step three was jamming the sky lights. When we first got it you could open the window covering and just look up at the sky with out actually opening the window. He jammed it so that it only opened when he opened the window. Step four was the cup holders. Not an overly important part, but none the less annoying. In the back seat the cup holders folded down. They got misaligned slightly so they were jammed. Instead of realigning them or fixing them in anyway like a normal person would, he just ripped them out.



THE TECHNOLOGY MURDERERS
MY MOM
My mom isn't as much of an issue as the rest of my family, but on occasion she gets to thinking that she's knows more than she does and usually causes more problems.
MY DAD
Refuses to learn how to properly use something. He just destroys it instead or asks people at ungodly hours to do it for him.
MY YOUNGER SISTER
Knows what she is doing, but technology just absolutely refuses to work properly for her.
MY GRANDMA
Usually has a pretty good idea of what she's doing, but on occasion gets confused about what is what and will have something running that she doesn't need or want.


P.S.
THE VACUUM CLEANER
As soon as I first posted this I went downstairs to vacuum like my mom asked. I changed the bag then when I went to turn it on again nothing happened. The light still worked but the vacuum made not even the slightest attempt to suck anything up. And now that I think about it I have had several vacuum cleaners quit while I was using them. I guess that I'm just not meant to clean.