A friend of mine at film school, said that she thought I was probably the perfect child growing up. I found that hilarious. Even if by some fluke I actually appeared to be a perfect child, I was in fact not. I was, to be honest, a little bit evil.
Some summer when I was little, (I think like six maybe) me, my older sister, and my dad all stayed with my aunt while my dad was getting some training or something. I don't remember much of it, but I do remember my evil scheme.
Back then, like now, I enjoyed staying up until God awful hours of the night reading. When staying with my aunt, I didn't have as much of an opportunity for this because she had us turn off the lights. She would tell us good night and would leave me in the dark with no light to read by. This was a problem for me and it needed to be remedied.
Somewhere in my tiny little mind, I came up with a wonderful awful idea. After my aunt would tell us goodnight and go upstairs, I'd wait a moment or two. Then, I'd start screaming bloody murder "because of the dark." My aunt would come down to see what the hell all the screaming was about and after awhile she started leaving a night light on. I would then read until I decided to sleep. It was an effective plan and I was never actually caught for my crimes against eardrums. (Now I'm confessing because it is very difficult to try an adult for childhood crimes.)
It was a lively subject of discussion that summer as well. My much older cousin make jokes about it and at one point, I think I explained to my older sister that it was because I had read Goosebumps earlier in the day. It should be noted, I have never in my life actually read Goosebumps.
That friend I mentioned earlier said that she'd like her daughter to be like me because of my incessant need to read all the time. She, however, should be aware that incessant reading was the motivation for my most evil plan to date. I was really just a budding evil little nerd and likely still am.
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