Sunday, April 7, 2013

Disney's Subliminal Messages

People read way too much into things. I don't know if it's because our culture, despite having more things to do than ever, is designed for antisocial people who sit at home with too much time on their hands or if humans just have a predisposition to act like Freud, but it's kind of ridiculous how many rumours go around about Disney movies.

Disney isn't actually all that shy about hiding dirty jokes in their movies. I'm not talking about hidden boners or "sex" secretly written all over the place either. I'm talking about the run of the mill adult jokes that are right there subtly hidden in the dialog. Yes those exist. Children won't get them so no one has an issue when the genie in Aladdin and the King of Thieves says, "I thought the ground wasn't supposed to shake until the honeymoon." (What makes people think they'll notice the other stuff either for that matter?)

Instead of spending your time trying to convince everyone that Disney is secretly hiding dongs in its movies, why don't you campaign against the things that are actually there? I'm not saying these dirty jokes shouldn't be in there because they are damn entertaining, I'm just saying if you're going to complain, actually have something to complain about.

Thanks to the internet everyone seems to have a bug up their ass about something. One of those somethings happens to be Disney movies. Everyone seems to be convinced that they're brainwashing children in the Tyler Dirden "cock flash" way. I could argue that they are brainwashing children (that's a rant for another time), but they're not doing it by secretly giving the priest a boner in The Little Mermaid. 

That boner mentioned above was supposed to be the priests knee and if you actually look at the frames in question you'll relize it's either a knee or that priest has a serious penis deformation. After much complaint (and likely many face palms) Disney did remove that sequence from newer versions of the film just to get people to shut up. (That's what Disney gets for giving priests knees. Everyone knows they don't have knees.)

Now that I've dispelled (or more likely sparked people angrily telling me I'm wrong about) the rumours of the priest's boner someone else has to pop up and ask about the penis that was drawn on the VHS case. I will admit that yes it does suspiciously look like penis. Not going to lie, but that doesn't mean it was intentional. According to the artist, that piece of artwork was rushed and it's just what happens when you're hastily drawing something that already looks sort of phallic. It is quite possible that he didn't notice it until way later when some bored kid with no life decided to stare intently at the case.

Before you go telling me, "That's total bullshit! How could you not notice?" Let me tell you a story.

When I was a freshman in high school we were doing charcoal drawings in my art class. My teacher had us doing this (what I found frustrating and annoying) exercise of drawing a blurry image and she'd focus it in more and more as time went on. When the class ended, she had us put our drawings up on the wall. The next class she told us to take our drawings down and get to work. Mine wasn't there, so I went up and talked to the teacher. She asked me which drawing was mine and when I told her, she nodded like she totally knew why it was missing. She led me across the room to her desk where she opened a drawer and pulled out my drawing. She asked, "did you do this on purpose?" Me being a totally confused ninth grader said, "no." I didn't know what she was talking about. I went to sit down and get started. I saw my art teacher go across the room and could totally tell she was telling the other art teacher about what just happened. I remained confused until the other art teacher yelled and I quote, "Bad Penis Girl no more penises on the wall!" across the art room. I spent the next three years of high school being called the penis drawer by that art teacher who didn't bother to learn my actual name until my senior year.

So there you have it. It is completely possible to draw a giant dong and not notice until someone else points it out. If you don't believe that anyone, even me, could be that oblivious, then the only other explanation is that my subconscious mind had taken control and was making a political statement about the assignment.

Now for the whole "sex" written in The Lion King bologna. I've looked multiple times and even if I play the movie frame by bleeding frame, it's still a stretch. Sure I see a bunch of blobbular dust that could maybe form a word, but I highly doubt it was intentional.

People have this annoying habit of seeing things that aren't there. Have you ever looked at a knot in the floor board and saw a face? What about in the random placement of objects? It's the same basic principal here. This guy named Gestalt had this brillaint theory about closure. People generally like to connect object that are broken up. It's why you can look at a square drawn with dotted lines and still see the square. We piece things together in out minds. The sum is greater than the parts to use a more cliche explanation.

I also remain sceptic of the "sex" hidden everywhere theory just because of how freaking ridiculous it actually is. There is one video on YouTube where a guy litterally spends ten minutes ranting about this by taking random frames from Beauty and the Beast and finding ways to write "sex" in the blobbules of water in the frame. He's trying just a bit to hard for me to believe that it was intentional and that this guy's not just being a jackass because he has nothing better to do.

Then of course there is the suspicion that in Aladdin he whispers under his breath "good teenagers take their clothes off." Again I find this just people trying too hard to find something to complain about. If you actually listen or at the very least turn on the subtitles you'll discover that that he's talking to the damn tiger. You know, Raja, the giant tiger Jasmine's got as a body guard. He says, "Good Kitty, Take your claws off." Probably because that tiger was likely planning to eat the random guy that just showed up on it's owner terrace. Just a thought, but doesn't that make just a bit more sense (or really any sense at all).

While I find all the above claims to be total bullshit there is one case where there was some of that Tyler Dirden-esgue subliminal messaging going on. In the 1970s a movie called The Rescuers came out. There was a topless woman shown in one of the windows they fly past. It was only there for a fraction of a second, too quick for the human eye to consciously register. Disney didn't actaully play the whole denial game with this one because it was actually there. They said, "Well, will you look at that?", apologized, and took it out of later releases of the films. It is the only case of this that actually has any supported evidence.

I find it hilarious when people start saying that Disney must be guilty because they deny it so much. Well don't you deny things about you that aren't true? What the hell are they supposed to do? I personally like the option of saying, "Screw it! Believe what you want!"

There is something about having too much time on one's hands that makes everyone turn into less spectacularly bearded version of Freud. Seriously, it's kind of amazing how many blogs and websites are dedicated to debating this stuff.

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