Homophobia

I get sick of the way people use words. They use offensive terms all the time without thinking twice about it. People just don't think about what they say. On occasion everyone says something stupid, but when you do it all the time it's no longer a mistake.

I cuss like a sailor, but there are terms that I won't say. The basic cuss words like damn, bitch, shit, and fuck are so over used they really don't have much meaning. While some people find these offensive, they aren't in reference to a specific group of people. Most people won't say the n-word, but they'll say, "that's gay", "faggot", or "dyke" without even shrugging.

In English class we were discussing different social groups. One kid in my group mentioned how scene kids are incredibly brightly colored. This led to a story from a girl in my group. I don't even remember what the story was, but I do remember she described a girl's weird haircut as, "super dykey." I don't get why short asymmetrical haircuts are associated with being gay, but I have heard more girls explain how they'd look like a dyke if they cut their hair short, than I'd care to admit.

A friend of mine who used the term dyke freely until people called her on it, said that she didn't find it offensive. She's not gay. She doesn't get to decide what's offensive. Another friend of mine who is actually very open minded and has several best friends who are gay, still uses the term, "that's gay" and gets annoyed when people ask her not to. A friend of mine who is gay uses, "that's gay" as well. If people who are gay and who have gay friends don't stop using the words, how do we expect anyone else to stop using them.

When I was fourteen, my dad started a reenacting Venture Crew. (I know, sounds exciting, right?) When I was fifteen, I went to a reenactment in Santa Fe with this Venture Crew. On the drive back, I got to sit and listen to the leader go on about the reasons gays and atheists couldn't join the venture crew.

Atheists couldn't join because they try to convince people to believe like they do. (Isn't that what religion in general does?) Gays couldn't join because they try to get in your head and make you gay. They also couldn't join because and I quote, "We don't want any boys being like 'I'm a girl' and we don't want any girls being like 'I'm a man.'" You should know, they had me cross dressing as a civil war soldier the entire time I participated. I sat in the car for a good while listening to this kind of bullshit and didn't say a thing. At the time it didn't seem worth it. (I had a good two hours left in the car with them and another hour in the car with my dad after that.) I must've looked sick because the leader's wife said, "If you have any questions your dad will explain them later."
Through gritted teeth I replied, "I understand perfectly fine."

My family, mostly on my dad's side, is quite homophobic. I have grown up hearing all sorts of homophobic slurs. When Brokeback Mountain won an academy award, my aunt came running into the room and started yelling about how that movie was a sin to make. When there was a documentary on about homosexuality and the research of it, my dad said, "it would be great if they could find a cure for that."

Out of my entire family, the one person I've heard say stuff like this the most is my dad. Once, while I was watching Ellen, he said, "you know she's a dyke right?" While watching Felicity, he made us turn it off because there was referance to Javier being gay. "What is he a faggot?" While watching Torchwood: Miracle Day, he made us turn it off because a character walked past two guys making out. While watching an episode of American Dad that involved murder and whatever else, the show was "stupid" until there was a lesbian kiss then it was "morally bankrupt." I'm not even sure how I managed to watch But I'm a Cheerleader, with him in the room for most of it, without him making me turn it off. (He was probably asleep.)

When I was little, all these statements were confusing. I couldn't see what was wrong with two girls or guys loving each other. I liked playing with monster trucks and bugs, why couldn't a boy like playing with Barbies and dresses. My best friend in kindergarten was a boy who had long hair and wanted to be a girl. I had short hair and wanted to be a boy. He came up with a girl name for himself and I came with a boy name for myself. We spent a lot of time playing as if I were a boy and he were a girl. He actually got in trouble once when he tried to explain this to another kid in our class. (My other best friend was a boy who's favorite color was pink.)

Back then I didn't get it and now, I still don't get it. If girls can wear pants guys should be able to wear dresses. People need to stop telling kids that it's wrong. They need to stop saying hateful things in front of their kids. People need to stop sitting idly by when people say offensive things. And above all else, even if they don't agree with it, they need to stop using offensive terms.