On Saturday, me, my younger sister, and our friend, planned to go see a movie. We went to the theater and went up to buy the tickets, but couldn't get in because my sister forgot her ID and my friend didn't even have one. The lady at the ticket booth told us that if we didn't have IDs we'd need to bring a school ID and a birth certificate. To me, that sounds just a bit crazy. Seriously, who cares enough to do that.
Well, needless to say, we didn't end up going to go see the movie. We left the theater and began discussing plans for going to see the movie. Quite a few ideas were thrown out. Buy a ticket for a movie we could go to without IDs and sneak into the theater playing the movie we wanted to see? Try a different theater that might have lower security? We went with the second plan.
While driving toward another theater, we discussed other things we could go do. Laser tag? "I always suck at that, plus I'm wearing white." "My hair glows in the black light." Then out of the mouth of my friends mother burst, "Roller Skating." As soon as it was said, it was official. That's what we were going to do. Screw the movie.
We then spent about half an hour driving around looking for a roller rink. We stopped twice and eventually found our way to one. Once again another problem occurred. My friend wasn't wearing socks. It took all of ten seconds for us to find a couple of mismatched socks floating around the interior of their car. Now to rent skates. Of course they don't have them in women's sizes so you have to convert your shoes size and hope that it works. Also they don't have half sizes so if your in between like that you get stuck with too big or too small skates.
Alright, Now we're all ready to skate. It's definitely not as easy as I remembered from the numerous times my Girl Scout troop went skating. We slowly scrambled around the rink a couple times. After about five minutes of attempting to skate, a guy came over and offered my friend help. The best skater at the rink tried to help my friend and in no way shape or form did it help. While that was going on, a guy named Donovan asked me if I want some advise. "Keep your knees bent and lean forward." It was amazing how much easier it became. (Even though, I still pretty much sucked.) He forgot the most important key to skating. "Don't think about it." As soon as you do, you are likely to biff it.
My friend's mom, was insanely good at it. (I suppose that that's what happens when you hang out with someone who grew up in the '80s.) Not counting her, I was the quickest to pick up on it, but after being there for an hour or so, my younger sister became freakishly good at it. My friend on the other hand, didn't even start to do good until about an hour in when she switched to roller blades.
Of the three hours we were there, I spent a good deal of it talking to Donovan. While an incredibly nice guy he was very pompous. Despite a couple conversations about bright colors and music he spent the entire time telling me random things about himself. Especially repeating the "fact" that he had an IQ of 150. But, once again, despite the pompous attitude, he was a nice guy. Everyone at the rink was super nice. Later it was determined, that it was because everyone who goes roller skating is a dork.
It was decided, that the most challenging thing about roller skating was using the restroom. You didn't take of you skates to do so and the stalls didn't lock. (When you're a noob at skating, it is incredibly hard to stay in one place long enough to pull up your pants.) Another challenge is dodging and stopping. I had a kid cut right in front of me and I didn't have enough room to swerve or enough time to stop. As a result, I plowed him right over. Yet, he still asked me if I was okay.
There was a little girl that got hurt while skating, so my friend who is just as clumsy (if not more so) as I am, decided to help her back to the rink's exit. When I passed them, she told me this. It wasn't 'till I was on the other side of the rink, that I realized it probably wasn't a good idea to leave an injured girl to the help of a clumsy person on wheels. (Not that I would've been much more help.)
Three hours of skating, falling, and injury later, we determined that it was a good idea to leave. We returned our skates and walked back to the car with a minor knowledge of how injured we actually were. It wasn't until we got to my friends house and exited the car that we realized how incredibly sore we were. I discover a bruise on my hip, two more scrapes than I previously discovered (bringing the total to four), a lump on my head (seriously my head's two steps away from a pachycephalosaurus'), and sore muscles everywhere. I expected that I'd have sore leg muscles and butt muscles, but I didn't expect that my back muscles, ab muscles, arm muscles, shoulder muscles, and neck muscle would hurt as well. Seriously, nearly every muscle in my body is sore and stiff.
While the most brilliant spur of the moment idea we've ever had, it is also the worst idea. It was determined while we were eating dinner, that while the most masochistic thing we've ever done, we definitely needed to do it again. Though next time we will bring elbow pads, knee pads, wrist guards, and a pillow to tie to our asses (possibly a helmet for me).
Showing posts with label Injury. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Injury. Show all posts
Monday, April 16, 2012
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Ways in Which I Get Injured
Being a klutz is one thing most kids grow out of once they grow into their feet. I either have outgrown my feet or some invisible creature is really enjoying themselves. Despite years of ballet, figure skating, Scottish dance, and gymnastics as a small child, I seamed to have avoided all grace attempts made by my parents. My two sisters however managed to bypass the wonderful world of Klutz. I am living proof that putting your daughter in ballet as soon as she can walk will not make her any less clumsy.
Ways in which I've been injured:
1. Broke my right collar bone by falling out of my booster seat to the left side.
2. Broke my left collar bone by crashing into the stove which was on my right side.
3. Pulled my shoulder out of it's socket by picking up a wool blanket
4. Sprained my ankle on the fourth of July and don't have a clue how it happened.
5. Did a perfect trip fall and cartoon slide on my face down the ramp in the school auditorium.
6. Got elbowed in the face playing laptag (see Slang) at my seventeenth birthday party and broke my nose.
7. Accidentally got punched in the face while sitting on my friends couch at his eighteenth birthday party. This re-broke my nose and straightened it after I broke it at my seventeenth birthday party.
8. Dislocated my collar bone playing volley carton (see Slang).
9. Walked into the same pole three days in a row all three times while my friend was telling me to watch out for it.
10. Fell down the stairs on Christmas morning while carrying my cat. (resulted in a bruised butt as well as several claw marks)
11. While climbing on the bathroom sink to get something I couldn't reach in the medicine cabinet, I fell off and scraped my stomach on the corner of the sink.
12. While climbing a tree, the branch broke and I slid down the tree ripping my pants, underwear and shirt on the jagged nub of a branch that was left.
13. Received a black eye from the table when my dad tried to push in the chair I was sitting on. I was sitting on the edge and it flipped forward causing me to smack my face on the corner of the table.
14. Was sitting outside having a picnic with my family and when it started to rain. A rain drop fell into my cup right as I took a drink causing lemonade to splash into my eye.
15. On the fourth of July a piece of a firework landed on my foot catching my shoe on fire. The guy next to me stomped on my foot and put the fire out.
16. My hair caught fire when I got to close to a candle while the power was out. (one of the reasons I don't have long hair anymore)
17. Hit the oven mitt off the top of the oven when taking out a lasagna, thus lighting it on fire.
18. Hit my bare hand off the top of the oven while taking foil off the top of a lasagna.
19. Almost dropped the lasagna, but gained control of it without having to catch it with my bare hand. I then sat it down on the counter and accidentally bumped my bare hand on the corner of the pan.
20. While playing with my cat her claw went up my nose and ripped through the outside of my nostril.
21. Burned my hand by accidentally grabbing the hot part of the hotdog roaster.
22. The legs of the stool I was sitting on suddenly gave way launching me backwards into the closet door which I then broke with my freakishly hard head.
23. Crashed into my friend, flipped over her shoulder and landed head first on cement. I received a lump on the head and the cement was cracked.
24. Broke my glasses by putting my hand on the side of my head during math class. (not technically an injury, but still quite ridiculous)
25. Got pegged in the face by a basket ball three times in one fifteen minute game of catch. (resulted in broken glasses)
26. Sprained my pinky on a friends jacket while playing tag.
27. Bruised my ribs when a friend flopped on my stomach.
28. Crashed into my grandpa's station wagon while sledding.
29.Crashed my bicycle while trying to teach my little sister how to ride. (resulted in her never trying to ride one again)
30. While playing kickball during gym class I got elbowed in the jaw and was sent skidding back a good three feet. Thanks to the sprained jaw I received, I can no longer chew gum. Also my jaw can only open half as far as before and it clicks when I do so.
31. Jammed my knee cap by smacking my knee off of the trunk in my algebra teacher's classroom.
32. Scraped the side of my neck on a branch while falling out of a tree (oddly enough received no other injury).
33. Older sister accidentally slammed a car door on my fingers.
34. Took a chunk of flesh out of the side of my foot by stepping on the edge of a broken bolt on my grandma's doll buggy.
35. Stepped on a rusty coat hanger which went into my foot a good inch.
36. I constantly hit my head off the cupboard above the stove. It's at the perfect location where I collide with it at least once a week.
37. I have a lightning bolt scar on my right pinky because during a water fight my sister accidentally shoved a broken glass into my finger when I stuck my hand up to keep from getting splashed in the face.
38. I did a belly flop on my deck by falling off the railing I was trying to sit on.
39. I had to run to catch the bus with a brake drum in my bag. It was banging against my knee which swelled up to twice its size. (I had the brake drum because I was supposed to use it as a musical instrument in a band competition the next day.)
40. Slid into a nearby wall while playing Duck Duck Goose. (Note: This didn't occur when I was little, but only a few weeks ago at my friends eighteenth birthday party.)
I have injured myself many more times but these just happen to be the most ridiculous of them. I of course do everyday clumsy thing such as break dishes, stub my toe, trip, etc. If I were to list all my injuries we'd be here for quite a long while seeing as I injure myself in minor ways almost everyday.
Ways in which I've been injured:
1. Broke my right collar bone by falling out of my booster seat to the left side.
2. Broke my left collar bone by crashing into the stove which was on my right side.
3. Pulled my shoulder out of it's socket by picking up a wool blanket
4. Sprained my ankle on the fourth of July and don't have a clue how it happened.
5. Did a perfect trip fall and cartoon slide on my face down the ramp in the school auditorium.
6. Got elbowed in the face playing laptag (see Slang) at my seventeenth birthday party and broke my nose.
7. Accidentally got punched in the face while sitting on my friends couch at his eighteenth birthday party. This re-broke my nose and straightened it after I broke it at my seventeenth birthday party.
8. Dislocated my collar bone playing volley carton (see Slang).
9. Walked into the same pole three days in a row all three times while my friend was telling me to watch out for it.
10. Fell down the stairs on Christmas morning while carrying my cat. (resulted in a bruised butt as well as several claw marks)
11. While climbing on the bathroom sink to get something I couldn't reach in the medicine cabinet, I fell off and scraped my stomach on the corner of the sink.
12. While climbing a tree, the branch broke and I slid down the tree ripping my pants, underwear and shirt on the jagged nub of a branch that was left.
13. Received a black eye from the table when my dad tried to push in the chair I was sitting on. I was sitting on the edge and it flipped forward causing me to smack my face on the corner of the table.
14. Was sitting outside having a picnic with my family and when it started to rain. A rain drop fell into my cup right as I took a drink causing lemonade to splash into my eye.
15. On the fourth of July a piece of a firework landed on my foot catching my shoe on fire. The guy next to me stomped on my foot and put the fire out.
16. My hair caught fire when I got to close to a candle while the power was out. (one of the reasons I don't have long hair anymore)
17. Hit the oven mitt off the top of the oven when taking out a lasagna, thus lighting it on fire.
18. Hit my bare hand off the top of the oven while taking foil off the top of a lasagna.
19. Almost dropped the lasagna, but gained control of it without having to catch it with my bare hand. I then sat it down on the counter and accidentally bumped my bare hand on the corner of the pan.
20. While playing with my cat her claw went up my nose and ripped through the outside of my nostril.
21. Burned my hand by accidentally grabbing the hot part of the hotdog roaster.
22. The legs of the stool I was sitting on suddenly gave way launching me backwards into the closet door which I then broke with my freakishly hard head.
23. Crashed into my friend, flipped over her shoulder and landed head first on cement. I received a lump on the head and the cement was cracked.
24. Broke my glasses by putting my hand on the side of my head during math class. (not technically an injury, but still quite ridiculous)
25. Got pegged in the face by a basket ball three times in one fifteen minute game of catch. (resulted in broken glasses)
26. Sprained my pinky on a friends jacket while playing tag.
27. Bruised my ribs when a friend flopped on my stomach.
28. Crashed into my grandpa's station wagon while sledding.
29.Crashed my bicycle while trying to teach my little sister how to ride. (resulted in her never trying to ride one again)
30. While playing kickball during gym class I got elbowed in the jaw and was sent skidding back a good three feet. Thanks to the sprained jaw I received, I can no longer chew gum. Also my jaw can only open half as far as before and it clicks when I do so.
31. Jammed my knee cap by smacking my knee off of the trunk in my algebra teacher's classroom.
32. Scraped the side of my neck on a branch while falling out of a tree (oddly enough received no other injury).
33. Older sister accidentally slammed a car door on my fingers.
34. Took a chunk of flesh out of the side of my foot by stepping on the edge of a broken bolt on my grandma's doll buggy.
35. Stepped on a rusty coat hanger which went into my foot a good inch.
36. I constantly hit my head off the cupboard above the stove. It's at the perfect location where I collide with it at least once a week.
37. I have a lightning bolt scar on my right pinky because during a water fight my sister accidentally shoved a broken glass into my finger when I stuck my hand up to keep from getting splashed in the face.
38. I did a belly flop on my deck by falling off the railing I was trying to sit on.
39. I had to run to catch the bus with a brake drum in my bag. It was banging against my knee which swelled up to twice its size. (I had the brake drum because I was supposed to use it as a musical instrument in a band competition the next day.)
40. Slid into a nearby wall while playing Duck Duck Goose. (Note: This didn't occur when I was little, but only a few weeks ago at my friends eighteenth birthday party.)
I have injured myself many more times but these just happen to be the most ridiculous of them. I of course do everyday clumsy thing such as break dishes, stub my toe, trip, etc. If I were to list all my injuries we'd be here for quite a long while seeing as I injure myself in minor ways almost everyday.
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