Despite what people say unacceptable facial hair is the number one problem in the world. There should be a facial hair police. Here are the guidelines created by me and my friends about what facial hair is acceptable and what isn't.
It's acceptable if:
1. It makes you look like:
A Dictator
A Pirate
A Ship Captain
Jesus
A Wizard
A Potential Dictator
Abraham Lincoln
A Pharaoh
2. You are:
A Wizard
Santa
Tom Seleck
All other facial hair is unacceptable. If you happen to be in the process of growing your facial hair to look like a certain acceptable form of facial hair then you should be required to hold an unacceptable facial hair permit.
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