Television

Like almost anyone else in America, I like to watch television. There are some pretty good shows out there. There's also a lot of stupid shows out there, but what can you do?

I don't actually watch TV all that often because when I do I get ridiculed. Some of the shows I watch my sister and mother also appreciate. Shows like Pretty Little Liars, Friends, and Scrubs. (I can't actually think of more than those three.) Then there are the shows that I enjoy to no end, but never actually watch because everyone else complains. These are shows like Phineas and Ferb, iCarly, Victorious, Scooby Doo, and Happy Endings. (Yes, I am a major dork.)

When I watch these shows there are a few things I get to listen to. 1)"Can't we watch something other cartoons?" (usually said by my mother and means she plans on watching cooking shows) 2)"Do you want to watch (insert movie here)?" (Usually said by my sister.) 3) "This show is stupid." (Usually said by my father before he takes over and turns on some form of reality TV. (Anyone else see the irony?))

I also like to watch the bonus features on DVDs. This causes me more issues than anything else. According to my younger sister it "ruins the movie." I have given up trying to watch these when anyone else is around. It's pointless. I hear more complaining from my family than there is footage on the DVD. I have to get creative if I want to watch bonus features. I tried watching it late at night when everyone else has gone to bed and I'm in my normal night owl mode. This doesn't work. Like clockwork, at 12:30am my father comes downstairs and tells me to go to bed. Here and exact recap of the conversation I had this evening:

DAD: Don't you think you need to go to bed?
ME: Does it matter?
DAD: Yes, it matters. Maybe someone else wants to watch TV.
(I said nothing for a moment as he slowly crept back up stairs.)

My dad says that last statement quite often. Usually right before a big blow up where he commandeers the TV to watch Pawn Stars (or one of the other reality TV shows involving old useless stuff). He has an amazing ability to only want to watch TV at inconvenient times. These times include: Right in the middle of when someone else is watching a show, in the middle of the night when he turns the volume up so loud I can hear every word in my room, upstairs, with the door shut (See Timing), when it's time for a show you've been waiting all day to watch and have specifically requested to watch, etc.

A while back, about the time I wrote Saturday Night Adventure, I watched the movie But I'm A Cheerleader. I quite love this movie. Somehow, I got away with watching this movie without my dad  flipping out about the fact that it contained (actually more accurately was saturated with) homosexuality. (GAAAAASP!) I watched this movie in broad daylight with my mom and dad in the room and no one made me turn it off. My dad once made my sister turn off an episode of Felicity because it hinted at the fact that a character was gay. My theory is that he was too busy saying how stupid the movie was to actually realize what was going on in the movie.

It's quite interesting when my dad watches television. An episode of American Dad (of course not a show he would enjoy) was only stupid when people were killing each other, eating cats, torturing each other, etc., but as soon as there was a lesbian kiss the show was "morally bankrupt". During an episode of Scooby Doo Where Are You?, he gave me a twenty minute lecture of why a saw couldn't chase Daphne across the water. He made me turn off an episode of Torchwood: Miracle Day because one of the characters walked past a couple of guys making out. While watching anything of a historical setting, he will find the one inaccuracy in it and give you a twenty minute lecture on it. Most notably would be his lecture on the color of Teddy Roosevelt's cuffs in Rough Riders. (Actually, my dad was an extra in that movie and is quite visibly seen throughout it.)

The most interesting of things I've noticed when it comes to my dad watching TV, is that he turns it on then falls asleep (or gives you a lecture on some sort of history related inaccuracy). The only movie I have seen him watch from beginning to end without stopping or falling asleep is (drum roll please) Mean Girls. I am in no way kidding. He had full control of the remote. He found it of his own accord and watched it from beginning to end.

My dad has been known to watch shows with more bleeps than actual dialog, yet the shows I watch are stupid? If anyone can figure out how that works please inform me. I've been working on it for years.