Today has been surprisingly mellow. We went to church and no one complained about having to go or got grumpy because of what someone else said. We had people come over for dinner and there were no panic attacks about getting things ready. My mom even forgot to make the squash yet she still didn't freak out. I didn't even get scolded for ignoring the church service and making a ninja star out of my bulletin. I'm completely baffled.
Usually on any holiday ever (or really just any day in general) I get yelled at for at least something. Come to think of it I didn't even get yelled at to get out of bed this morning. My dad willingly helped with all the chores. No one got frazzled or angry about anything. At least not when I happened to be there to witness it. I'm seriously starting to think that my family's been replaced by plant like aliens. (Yes, an Invasion of the Body Snatchers reference was necessary.) To quote my sister, "I'm so confused!"
While eating dessert, we had a thoughtful conversation about drug use and no one got angry. If we attempted that at any other time, my family would be yelling at each other, someone would flip a chair over, and inevitably someone would end up grounded. We discussed the various types and uses without anyone even cringing. This is something that is not done in my family. (see Problem Solving)
I don't know if it's because it's Easter. Or if there was something in the candy they gave us at church. Or even if my family has been replaced by cooperative robots. All I know is that it usually doesn't make a difference what day it is. Someone yells at someone. It's even more likely to happen on days when we are going to have company (pretty much all holidays).
I probably shouldn't be wasting my time trying to figure out and should just be enjoying it, but my mind is so blown, I can't fathom what might have happened.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Inedible Foods
Everyone who has ever eaten a school lunch has without a doubt complained about it. It's some sort of unwritten American law. For some reason when we get food that is cafeteria style we feel the need to complain about it. Sometimes it's a legitimate statement, but a lot of the time I think people are just complaining because they can. There have only been a few occasions when I couldn't stand food and the worst weren't the school's fault.
1. In middle school no one actually bought the pizza to eat. It was purchased so we could wad the cheese up and use it as a bouncing ball.
2. In eighth grade, my friend claimed that he could eat anything that was edible without any issue. This led to another friend of mine making him a sandwich containing a little bit of everything from his fridge. To this day, I half expect a mutant life form to burst out of my friends gut and take over the planet. (Seriously, I that sandwich was two steps away from being able to eat a person.)
3. Once again in middle school, the school decided to get creative with milk. Typically, you get to choose from normal milk or chocolate. They decided to add strawberry milk. Still not that strange. Well then what about orange milk or root beer milk?
4. The school decided to make a mystery meat pizza. Not a single person ate pizza that day.
5. Now for the most disgusting. Last year, I traveled down to Texas to visit my grandpa and Aunt. They live in a trailer. For some reason this trailer smells entirely of cat food. They have no pets. (Still not the worst part.) The first morning we were there my sister decided to brave a bowl of cereal. (I personally couldn't get over the cat food smell enough to actually eat.) My sister filled her bowl. Upon adding the milk to the bowl, the cereal started leaping up the sides of the bowl.(I am dead serious!) It literally ran away! Or at least attempted to. It couldn't actually make it out of the bowl. To this day this is the most disgusting thing I have ever experienced.
Cafeteria food still sounding horrible?
1. In middle school no one actually bought the pizza to eat. It was purchased so we could wad the cheese up and use it as a bouncing ball.
2. In eighth grade, my friend claimed that he could eat anything that was edible without any issue. This led to another friend of mine making him a sandwich containing a little bit of everything from his fridge. To this day, I half expect a mutant life form to burst out of my friends gut and take over the planet. (Seriously, I that sandwich was two steps away from being able to eat a person.)
3. Once again in middle school, the school decided to get creative with milk. Typically, you get to choose from normal milk or chocolate. They decided to add strawberry milk. Still not that strange. Well then what about orange milk or root beer milk?
4. The school decided to make a mystery meat pizza. Not a single person ate pizza that day.
5. Now for the most disgusting. Last year, I traveled down to Texas to visit my grandpa and Aunt. They live in a trailer. For some reason this trailer smells entirely of cat food. They have no pets. (Still not the worst part.) The first morning we were there my sister decided to brave a bowl of cereal. (I personally couldn't get over the cat food smell enough to actually eat.) My sister filled her bowl. Upon adding the milk to the bowl, the cereal started leaping up the sides of the bowl.(I am dead serious!) It literally ran away! Or at least attempted to. It couldn't actually make it out of the bowl. To this day this is the most disgusting thing I have ever experienced.
Cafeteria food still sounding horrible?
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Problem Solving
In my family we don't solve problems. Which is odd considering we have a detailed process in which we handle them. Every time there is one, we do basically the same thing. On occasion, there are variations.
First we find something that looks like it could possibly be a problem or might turn into one. (Depending on how much my dad actually hears, this could be anything from saying the word hamburger to threatening to rip off someone's face.) Once we have identified a possible problem, it is transformed into a horse using one of the many horse related metaphors that my dad has stored in his brain (honestly I have begun to think it consists of no information past the 1940's). Once the problem has become a horse, we flog that horse until it is dead. Once it is dead, we continue to beat it until it is nicely ground up into what looks like hamburger meat. Once it can easily be formed into a horseburger, we package it up, put it in the deep freeze, and forget about it. Months later when one of our crazy relatives pull it out, they'll throw it onto the pile of horse were currently flogging. And once again everything gets thrown into the freezer and forgotten about.
An argument starts as a polite conversation. It will then, morph into a heated agreement. Then before you know it, someone will say something that my parents don't agree with. In an instant we've dove head first in to a pool of yelling (usually in confined spaces). The arguments start out sort of legitimate, move to ridiculous, head into What the..., and finally loop back around to ludicrous (which usually involves my mom actually using the word ludicrous in a sentence). There's a pause. Then we repeat.
An actual two hour argument that occurred on a road trip went like this:
How one of my friends was doing. (Polite Conversation)
Submission to one's husband (Heated Agreement)
Argument about marijuana (Sort of Legitimate)
Argument about hard drugs
Argument about prescription drugs
Red meat (Ridiculous)
Breast Milk (What the...)
Anarchy
Methane gas
Who's trying to change who's opinion
Alcohol
Whether school system is projecting these ideas (Ludicrous)
*Pause*
Difference in opinions (Polite Conversation)
Parental examples (Heated Agreement)
*We stopped for gas thus breaking the loop*
First we find something that looks like it could possibly be a problem or might turn into one. (Depending on how much my dad actually hears, this could be anything from saying the word hamburger to threatening to rip off someone's face.) Once we have identified a possible problem, it is transformed into a horse using one of the many horse related metaphors that my dad has stored in his brain (honestly I have begun to think it consists of no information past the 1940's). Once the problem has become a horse, we flog that horse until it is dead. Once it is dead, we continue to beat it until it is nicely ground up into what looks like hamburger meat. Once it can easily be formed into a horseburger, we package it up, put it in the deep freeze, and forget about it. Months later when one of our crazy relatives pull it out, they'll throw it onto the pile of horse were currently flogging. And once again everything gets thrown into the freezer and forgotten about.
An argument starts as a polite conversation. It will then, morph into a heated agreement. Then before you know it, someone will say something that my parents don't agree with. In an instant we've dove head first in to a pool of yelling (usually in confined spaces). The arguments start out sort of legitimate, move to ridiculous, head into What the..., and finally loop back around to ludicrous (which usually involves my mom actually using the word ludicrous in a sentence). There's a pause. Then we repeat.
An actual two hour argument that occurred on a road trip went like this:
How one of my friends was doing. (Polite Conversation)
Submission to one's husband (Heated Agreement)
Argument about marijuana (Sort of Legitimate)
Argument about hard drugs
Argument about prescription drugs
Red meat (Ridiculous)
Breast Milk (What the...)
Anarchy
Methane gas
Who's trying to change who's opinion
Alcohol
Whether school system is projecting these ideas (Ludicrous)
*Pause*
Difference in opinions (Polite Conversation)
Parental examples (Heated Agreement)
*We stopped for gas thus breaking the loop*
My Snow Day
It is currently snowing like Zeus is pissed. Two days ago it was super warm and sunny. Now there is snow everywhere. Enough that school was canceled. Even though school was canceled it didn't really affect me that much. I still had to get up early, feed the animal and get a wisdom tooth yanked out.
For starters getting to the dentist was in itself interesting. Since, (as I've mentioned a couple time previously) it is blizzarding we had to leave twice as early as we normally would. On the way, I spotted a sign for extreme fire danger (with a red flag flapping and everything). I personally find this entertaining. I would love to see someone start a fire out there. (Please don't actually accept this challenge.)
When we actually go to the dentists office. I stepped out of the car onto a parking lot that was completely covered in black ice. I stepped out and did the whole cartoon character on ice, scrambling in place thing until I got hold of the car door and stabled myself.
At the office, they injected my gums with numbing stuff and after a minute of pressing on my face, the sucker popped right out. It actually was basically what I expected. I just figured it would take longer. The only problem I have with this whole tooth removal business, is the numbing crap. The left side of my face is numb and honestly I'd kind of prefer the pain to having my face numb. It is my opinion that pain is far less annoying than numbness. It should be noted that this is coming from a frequently injured person, so my pain tolerance is quite high. Although, if my tooth was ripped out without numbing stuff, I'd likely be eating my words after they'd been pureed, so I could actually do so.
After this whole excursion to the dentist, we got home and my sister informed my parents that we needed to go check on a friends dog. We'd been checking up on the dogs while the family was gone to Arizona. Well thanks to this lovely thing called weather they can't get back, so they asked if we could check on them again. As previously stated it is nasty out there, my mom was by no means thrilled that she had to get back in the car and drive basically back to the same area as where I got my teeth ripped out. But, there is a simple solution to keep this from happening again. It's called cell phones. If my parents had cell phones my sister could have easily called them and informed them of this before we returned to our house in the middle of nowhere.
For starters getting to the dentist was in itself interesting. Since, (as I've mentioned a couple time previously) it is blizzarding we had to leave twice as early as we normally would. On the way, I spotted a sign for extreme fire danger (with a red flag flapping and everything). I personally find this entertaining. I would love to see someone start a fire out there. (Please don't actually accept this challenge.)
When we actually go to the dentists office. I stepped out of the car onto a parking lot that was completely covered in black ice. I stepped out and did the whole cartoon character on ice, scrambling in place thing until I got hold of the car door and stabled myself.
At the office, they injected my gums with numbing stuff and after a minute of pressing on my face, the sucker popped right out. It actually was basically what I expected. I just figured it would take longer. The only problem I have with this whole tooth removal business, is the numbing crap. The left side of my face is numb and honestly I'd kind of prefer the pain to having my face numb. It is my opinion that pain is far less annoying than numbness. It should be noted that this is coming from a frequently injured person, so my pain tolerance is quite high. Although, if my tooth was ripped out without numbing stuff, I'd likely be eating my words after they'd been pureed, so I could actually do so.
After this whole excursion to the dentist, we got home and my sister informed my parents that we needed to go check on a friends dog. We'd been checking up on the dogs while the family was gone to Arizona. Well thanks to this lovely thing called weather they can't get back, so they asked if we could check on them again. As previously stated it is nasty out there, my mom was by no means thrilled that she had to get back in the car and drive basically back to the same area as where I got my teeth ripped out. But, there is a simple solution to keep this from happening again. It's called cell phones. If my parents had cell phones my sister could have easily called them and informed them of this before we returned to our house in the middle of nowhere.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Ninja Moments and Not So Ninja Moments
I have decent reflexes. I'm pretty sure that's what's keeping me alive. My clumsiness would have won a long time ago if it weren't for my reflexes. Trust me though they lack any form of perfection. My reflexes like to take random vacation days without any warning. Sometimes, I will do something totally awesome with my reflexes. These are my ninja moments. Other times, My reflexes will do me absolutely no good and I will have a not so ninja moment.
Ninja Moments:
1. While at a candy store with my mom she dropped the bag of chocolate covered raisins. I caught them while the bag was falling upside down without anything keeping the top shut. The best part: Not a single piece fell out of the bag.
2. While rock climbing (without ropes) The rock I had my foot on fell away. I secured my self on the next rock without any injury. The rock I was previously standing on, proceeded to crash down the mountain murdering several bushes in the process.
3. While coming back on a trail I stepped down onto one of the steps slid on gravel and was launched off the step. I landed on my feet perfectly unharmed two steps down from where I slid on the gravel.
4. While at a friends house, I stepped on the one part of the step that, unknown to me, was broken. I proceeded to fall, but caught myself in a matrix style pose without touching the ground with my hands.
In-between Moments:
1. Was running out of the kitchen when the dog got in my way. I leaped over her and landed perfectly. I then took one step tripped over my grandmother's oxygen hose and fell on my face.
Not So Ninja Moments:
1. While helping carry in groceries, I picked up a bottle of V8 V fusion juice. It then slipped out of my hand leading to it bouncing around my hands for about twenty seconds as I tried to get a grip on it. It then crashed forward out of my hands and landed on the concrete cap first. The cap split in a half and about a third of the bottle came gushing out onto my mother's pants and shoes, not to mention the floor. The best part: it was a deep purple color. It turned my mom's shoes pink and made the entire room smell like fruit even after we cleaned it up.
2. While walking along a slightly muddy path at The Grand Tetons, I attempted to step around a giant mud pile. I slipped and slid down the hill. I attempted to stand up and was almost completely standing when I slipped and slid further down the hill. (This particular one caused me to borrow a towel from a kind couple and eventually led to me changing in the RV of some strange old ladies.)
3. While hiking, I attempted to walk up a gravel covered hill. I slipped and stuck my hand out to catch myself. It landed perfectly in a cactus. I stood plucked the cactus out of my hand and continued up the hill. I slipped again, stuck my hand out, and with out fail there was another cactus. (It's been a week since then. I'm still picking cactus out of my hand.)
4. While running in the high school auditorium I tripped, fell and did a perfect anime style face slide. Feet over my head and everything. (To this day, this is the fail I'm most proud of.)
If you would like to read more of my not so ninja moments you can find them in the post Ways In Which I Get Injured. I believe it's in the August 2011 posts.
Ninja Moments:
1. While at a candy store with my mom she dropped the bag of chocolate covered raisins. I caught them while the bag was falling upside down without anything keeping the top shut. The best part: Not a single piece fell out of the bag.
2. While rock climbing (without ropes) The rock I had my foot on fell away. I secured my self on the next rock without any injury. The rock I was previously standing on, proceeded to crash down the mountain murdering several bushes in the process.
3. While coming back on a trail I stepped down onto one of the steps slid on gravel and was launched off the step. I landed on my feet perfectly unharmed two steps down from where I slid on the gravel.
4. While at a friends house, I stepped on the one part of the step that, unknown to me, was broken. I proceeded to fall, but caught myself in a matrix style pose without touching the ground with my hands.
In-between Moments:
1. Was running out of the kitchen when the dog got in my way. I leaped over her and landed perfectly. I then took one step tripped over my grandmother's oxygen hose and fell on my face.
Not So Ninja Moments:
1. While helping carry in groceries, I picked up a bottle of V8 V fusion juice. It then slipped out of my hand leading to it bouncing around my hands for about twenty seconds as I tried to get a grip on it. It then crashed forward out of my hands and landed on the concrete cap first. The cap split in a half and about a third of the bottle came gushing out onto my mother's pants and shoes, not to mention the floor. The best part: it was a deep purple color. It turned my mom's shoes pink and made the entire room smell like fruit even after we cleaned it up.
2. While walking along a slightly muddy path at The Grand Tetons, I attempted to step around a giant mud pile. I slipped and slid down the hill. I attempted to stand up and was almost completely standing when I slipped and slid further down the hill. (This particular one caused me to borrow a towel from a kind couple and eventually led to me changing in the RV of some strange old ladies.)
3. While hiking, I attempted to walk up a gravel covered hill. I slipped and stuck my hand out to catch myself. It landed perfectly in a cactus. I stood plucked the cactus out of my hand and continued up the hill. I slipped again, stuck my hand out, and with out fail there was another cactus. (It's been a week since then. I'm still picking cactus out of my hand.)
4. While running in the high school auditorium I tripped, fell and did a perfect anime style face slide. Feet over my head and everything. (To this day, this is the fail I'm most proud of.)
If you would like to read more of my not so ninja moments you can find them in the post Ways In Which I Get Injured. I believe it's in the August 2011 posts.
Determined
Ever had one of those projects that was totally out to screw you? I'm currently working on one of those. It's one of those things that just doesn't seem to work out for you and when it seems that it is, it does something that complicates and totally undoes your previous solution.
For art class I have to do a sculpture out of soapstone. It started out working quite well. Then a chunk of it cracked off. Freaked me out for a minute then I realized that it cracked off almost exactly how I planned to carve it. I just modified my original idea a bit and continued on. I was working on it again and it was going awesomely. I was having no issues then it just cracked right in half. I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to fix it this time, but I'm pretty sure this means war!
The thing that gets me is that it's actually a fun project and I'm enjoying working on it, but it just keeps insisting on being a pain in the ass. Every time I crack it, it makes me more determined to get this sculpture to work. I've determined that this project is out to screw me, but I refuse to let it do so.
Let's see how long my determination lasts. If it cracks again, I might just end up chucking it across the room and calling it good.
For art class I have to do a sculpture out of soapstone. It started out working quite well. Then a chunk of it cracked off. Freaked me out for a minute then I realized that it cracked off almost exactly how I planned to carve it. I just modified my original idea a bit and continued on. I was working on it again and it was going awesomely. I was having no issues then it just cracked right in half. I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to fix it this time, but I'm pretty sure this means war!
The thing that gets me is that it's actually a fun project and I'm enjoying working on it, but it just keeps insisting on being a pain in the ass. Every time I crack it, it makes me more determined to get this sculpture to work. I've determined that this project is out to screw me, but I refuse to let it do so.
Let's see how long my determination lasts. If it cracks again, I might just end up chucking it across the room and calling it good.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Procrastinating
Okay people time to own up to being procrastinators. Everyone does it at some point. I don't care who you are. You've done it. There is no person who does everything when they first are informed that it needs to be done. It just doesn't happen. No one does exactly what their told to do right when they're told to do it (the exception being if they're afraid for their lives).
I personally am a huge procrastinator. I wait until the last minute for almost everything and a lot of the time I end up missing my chance. Often times though I end up getting something done though. That is the times when people leave me alone. Tell me to do something once, maybe twice (at times, I've got the attention span of a gold fish) and I will get it done. If you tell me more than twice there is a pretty good chance that I won't do it at all (or I'll half ass it). The more a person tells me to do something the longer it takes for me to get in a good mood so I'm actually willing to do it.
When I do something I have to find a way to make it fun. Otherwise, I get bored. When I get bored with something, there is a very big chance that I will not finish it (or will half ass it). When I need to do something that's not fun or interesting (like doing the dishes) then I have to do something to keep myself from getting bored.
Here's how a person can get me to do something:
1. Get me in a good mood
2. Ask me nicely to do it (tell what is is and by what time you need it done)
3. Don't give details of how to do it (unless it's something different from how it would normally be done). I will ask questions if I have them.
4. Ask me again if I haven't done it already (make sure that I actually haven't done it)
5. Don't remind me again
6. Have patience and don't mention it to me again.
If you follow those steps I might actually get something done. If a teacher/parent/friend keeps asking me to do something/keeps telling me that it needs to get it done/keeps telling me how to do it, I will likely never finish it.
I personally am a huge procrastinator. I wait until the last minute for almost everything and a lot of the time I end up missing my chance. Often times though I end up getting something done though. That is the times when people leave me alone. Tell me to do something once, maybe twice (at times, I've got the attention span of a gold fish) and I will get it done. If you tell me more than twice there is a pretty good chance that I won't do it at all (or I'll half ass it). The more a person tells me to do something the longer it takes for me to get in a good mood so I'm actually willing to do it.
When I do something I have to find a way to make it fun. Otherwise, I get bored. When I get bored with something, there is a very big chance that I will not finish it (or will half ass it). When I need to do something that's not fun or interesting (like doing the dishes) then I have to do something to keep myself from getting bored.
Here's how a person can get me to do something:
1. Get me in a good mood
2. Ask me nicely to do it (tell what is is and by what time you need it done)
3. Don't give details of how to do it (unless it's something different from how it would normally be done). I will ask questions if I have them.
4. Ask me again if I haven't done it already (make sure that I actually haven't done it)
5. Don't remind me again
6. Have patience and don't mention it to me again.
If you follow those steps I might actually get something done. If a teacher/parent/friend keeps asking me to do something/keeps telling me that it needs to get it done/keeps telling me how to do it, I will likely never finish it.
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