Thursday, March 29, 2012

Ninja Moments and Not So Ninja Moments

I have decent reflexes. I'm pretty sure that's what's keeping me alive. My clumsiness would have won a long time ago if it weren't for my reflexes. Trust me though they lack any form of perfection. My reflexes like to take random vacation days without any warning. Sometimes, I will do something totally awesome with my reflexes. These are my ninja moments. Other times, My reflexes will do me absolutely no good and I will have a not so ninja moment.

Ninja Moments:

1. While at a candy store with my mom she dropped the bag of chocolate covered raisins. I caught them while the bag was falling upside down without anything keeping the top shut. The best part: Not a single piece fell out of the bag.

2. While rock climbing (without ropes) The rock I had my foot on fell away. I secured my self on the next rock without any injury. The rock I was previously standing on, proceeded to crash down the mountain murdering several bushes in the process.

3. While coming back on a trail I stepped down onto one of the steps slid on gravel and was launched off the step. I landed on my feet perfectly unharmed two steps down from where I slid on the gravel.

4. While at a friends house, I stepped on the one part of the step that, unknown to me, was broken. I proceeded to fall, but caught myself in a matrix style pose without touching the ground with my hands.

In-between Moments:

1. Was running out of the kitchen when the dog got in my way. I leaped over her and landed perfectly. I then took one step tripped over my grandmother's oxygen hose and fell on my face.

Not So Ninja Moments:

1. While helping carry in groceries, I picked up a bottle of V8 V fusion juice. It then slipped out of my hand leading to it bouncing around my hands for about twenty seconds as I tried to get a grip on it. It then crashed forward out of my hands and landed on the concrete cap first. The cap split in a half and about a third of the bottle came gushing out onto my mother's pants and shoes, not to mention the floor. The best part: it was a deep purple color. It turned my mom's shoes pink and made the entire room smell like fruit even after we cleaned it up.

2. While walking along a slightly muddy path at The Grand Tetons, I attempted to step around a giant mud pile. I slipped and slid down the hill. I attempted to stand up and was almost completely standing when I slipped and slid further down the hill. (This particular one caused me to borrow a towel from a kind couple and eventually led to me changing in the RV of some strange old ladies.)

3. While hiking, I attempted to walk up a gravel covered hill. I slipped and stuck my hand out to catch myself. It landed perfectly in a cactus. I stood plucked the cactus out of my hand and continued up the hill. I slipped again, stuck my hand out, and with out fail there was another cactus. (It's been a week since then. I'm still picking cactus out of my hand.)

4. While running in the high school auditorium I tripped, fell and did a perfect anime style face slide. Feet over my head and everything. (To this day, this is the fail I'm most proud of.) 

If you would like to read more of my not so ninja moments you can find them in the post Ways In Which I Get Injured. I believe it's in the August 2011 posts.

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